Spindle Wood (COMPLETED)

Chapter 96

"Re? Remus?!"

Remus didn't look up at his brother's voice. He barely registered it. His legs had gone numb from how long he'd been collapsed on the floor and the grazes on his knuckles stung.

"Remus!" Roman stood, half in shadow, in the doorway. His grateful smile faded as he took in the pile of dust and torn clothes on the floor and Remus, kneeling not far off.

He ran to him, skirting past the pile of dust, and dropped to his knees beside him. He reached out a hand to his shoulder and when Remus didn't react, pulled him up.

"What happened?" Roman took in Remus' tear stained face and worryingly blank eyes. "Remus?! What happened?! Did Janus hurt you?"

At Janus' name, a wince passed over Remus' face and he let out a small moan of pain. He buried his face in his hands and began to cry again.

"I didn't mean it." Remus said, the words muffled through his hands. "I didn't mean to do it. I didn't know what I was doing. I just took it and I thought... I thought if I took it all away, maybe he'd come back!"

"If you took what? Re, what happened?"

"I killed him, Roman!" Remus screamed suddenly. He quietened immediately after and seemed to draw into himself more. "I killed him, I murdered him and I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to at all, I loved him, I couldn't stop loving him, even when he hurt you and Virgil and Patton and I couldn't and I hated myself for it but I loved him." Remus hiccupped and more tears welled up in his eyes. "I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop any of it."

Roman glanced gingerly over at the pile of dust. Now he actually looked, he recognised the remains of the cloak Janus always used to wear.

"Re, did you do that?" He asked hesitantly. Remus latched onto his hands, squeezing them tightly.

"I swear, Roman, I didn't mean to." Remus insisted. "He threw something at me and I caught it and then it started pulling out of him and there were all these voices telling me to pull it, pull it, pull it, so I did! And it hurt him, it killed him, I killed him. But I couldn't stop, even when I tried." Remus let go of Roman's hands and looked down at the floor. "Maybe I didn't want to. Because he didn't start like this, Ro. He didn't. He didn't start all twisted and mad and cruel. It was what I did to him that changed him."

"What you did?"

Remus swallowed. "I gave him the magic. Just a bit of mine. He was so kind... I never thought it would escalate."

Roman stared at him. He wanted to scream at Remus. To yell at him, ask why he had ever thought that would be a good idea.

But he couldn't. Not when Remus was this distraught.

So he hugged him. He hugged him tight, tucking his chin onto the top of Remus' head and trying to pour all his apologies into one hug. Apologies for how he treated Remus and how he didn't treat him, apologies for leaving him alone when Remus needed him most. Apologies for things he didn't even remember but Remus remembered and that was what mattered.

"I'm so sorry, Remus." He whispered. "And I know it's not what you need to hear right now but I am. I'm so sorry for so much."

It sounded like Remus was crying again. Roman decided not to judge.

Eventually, Remus pulled back. He wiped his eyes and tried for a small, broken laugh.

"I got your shirt wet." He pointed out. Roman shook his head.

"It doesn't matter." He stood up and held out a hand to Remus. Remus took it and pulled himself up. He nearly fell down again but Roman caught him. "Where's this boy Patton's dating?"

"Down in the dungeons, I guess." Remus shook his head slightly. "But I can't go down there, Ro. I can't... face anyone else."

"Alright." Roman nodded. "D'you want to go back to the castle? Or the cottage? Or home?"

"The cottage." Remus decided. He took a small step away from Roman. "Come and tell me when the kid wakes up, yeah?"

Roman nodded again, worry painting his face. "Course."

Remus tried for another smile and vanished.

We do love mental breakdowns and brotherly bonding. We really do.
Bye,
Blaize