the girl in the corner.

episode 21: finally in peace.

after that day where riki confronted momoko about her bullying me, she stopped talking to me. she never glanced my way, i never heard my name leave her lips, and if we crossed paths, she'd act like we're strangers—just like how we're supposed to be.

i think she felt ashamed or embarrassed that she was caught in the act by riki, so she subsequently avoided him as well. i noticed she would sometimes glance at him during class, with a glint of guilt and sadness. if she was guilty at all, i think she was guilty that she was caught by him. i'm sure that if riki hadn't stepped in that moment, she would still be bothering me up to this day.

riki once asked me to switch seats to an empty desk next to him which belonged to a classmate who transferred a while back. momoko was in the room and out of the corner of my eye i saw her snap her head in our direction once she heard riki spew those words. i declined that offer, not because i was scared of momoko, but because i just didn't like being all out like that for everyone to see me. my seat in the back of the class is enough for me.

in all honesty, i was really baffled that momoko didn't try to quietly fight back at all. i knew her as someone who's extremely set on their goals and won't easily give up, but seeing her immediately stop bothering me once riki told her to surprised and pleased me in equal measure.

my school days, which were so monochrome and dreadful, became peaceful and cheery just as they'd been a month ago. now, the only difference is i have a friend.

a week after riki confronted momoko, when we were getting into class after the bell rang during the break, he found a note on my desk. it was folded neatly, and it had the words 'for suzuki miyamoto' written on it in nice handwriting. being the class president, riki had recognized the writing to be of momoko's. he concluded that, if she wrote such a secretive note for me after he confronted her, it must be an apology of some sort. i, however, suspected otherwise. i couldn't pinpoint exactly what momoko wrote here that she couldn't say to me out loud, but i felt it was anything but an apology.

riki inspected the paper for a minute before handing it over to me with a small smile.

"read it," he encouraged. "i wanna know what's in it."

i chuckled airily and slowly unfolded the paper, mentally preparing myself for any harsh words that were possibly written in this message. i took a deep breath with the paper open in my hands before i read the first line.

"to suzuki miyamoto," momoko has written. "the girl who managed to weaken my pride.

look, suzuki. i don't know if i should say this or not, but i still think it's not really okay that you had riki confront me and embarrass me like this—"

i paused reading to chuckle. embarrassed? well, she's embarrassed because she was wrong, that's what i think.

"you could've done so yourself, you know? don't be so dependent," i continued reading. "i hope you know that i like riki. i'm not sure if you do as well, but i just jumped to conclusions. that's a bad habit of mine that makes me act without thinking, which was a reason i bullied you, because of the belief you were trying to take him away from me before i could confess.

i don't like how you made him hate me with your sob stories, or whatever you were telling him—"

i certainly wasn't telling him anything, thank you very much, momoko.

"and that made me lose all chances i had in telling him i like him without getting rejected. i hate you for that, you succeeded in taking him away from me before i even had him. are you happy?"

i furrowed my eyebrows at that paragraph. i think i must write her a note myself explaining my side of the story.

"i had to swallow my pride to write this whole thing, and especially this next part, so please don't make fun of me or think i'm ridiculous, or any less deserving, or whatever, but i'm sorry. i bullied you for a dumb belief of mine and i'm trying my best to let you be. in all honesty, you make my blood boil, but i'm trying to hold my temper. again, i'm sorry for making your life miserable without a valid reason, and i hope you at least forgive me for that. and if you don't, i don't really care. i won't be talking to you either way.

momoko hatanaka."

...so was that an apology, or was it an "i hate you" letter?"

it was an "i hate you" apology. at least she apologized.

good thing is, she won't be talking to me again. i was sort of conflicted on forgiving her or not, because she made me insecure about my friendship with riki without having anything to do with it, really. but at the end of the day, she felt enough remorse to say sorry. i left the decision to be made for another day, when i write my own note to her explaining my thoughts and whatnot.

at least i'm in peace now.