The Boy Trapped

Chapter 20

Colette's POV
"It's you. You're my Nyxy. Of course, I trust you."

I kissed him.

"You're comfortable enough to do that still?"

"Y-yes. I-I've only ever kissed you so..I know what your lips feel like. I know what your tongue feels like. I know how you taste. I-I know the one, I'm kissing, is you."

"Damn. I'm the same way with you."

I wrapped my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around me. He started cradling my head. My body was still shaking.

"Relax baby."

He started holding me tighter while rocking me. I realized where my head was. I pulled back.

"What's wrong?"

"I-I was touching it. Y-you told me that, it's still bothering you."

"It's fine. It's not bothering me right now. It's okay to put your head there."

I put my head back down. I kept crying. He started petting my hair.

"I've got you. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Let's lay down. I can hold you better that way. Okay?"

I nodded as I sniffled. He laid down next to me. He held his arms out. I crawled over to him and he wrapped his arms around me. I slid my arms underneath his and curled up into a ball.

"I feel gross. I feel like...I'm unlovable now."

"Shhh. That's not true love. Hold on."

He sat up and took his shirt off. He handed it to me.

"Here. I know, you're comfortable in my shirts. Maybe this'll help you calm down quicker."

I sat up and took my shirt off. I went to the hamper and threw it in there. I walked back over to the bed and put his shirt on. I laid back down and he wrapped his arms around me again. I burrowed my face into the inside of his shirt.

"Babe, I can't play with your hair, if you do that. I know that calms you down sometimes."

I poked my head up.

"You looked like a turtle just down."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Yes. You'd be a very adorable turtle."

"Why, thank you."

"You seem a bit better."

"I think...it's because...I talked to you about everything. I-I feel...relieved that you know."

He kissed my forehead.

"Oh Nyx? I-I have a question."

"Alright. What is it?"

"I'm sorry if, this is too personal."

"Cole, I'm supposed to be personal with you. What's the question?"

"Because of everything that's happened...are you trapped in your own mind?"

"How do you mean?"

"Like it seems that no matter how hard you try, you can escape what happened. I get nightmares and I feel him touching me. I hear him. I relive you getting shot. Does that happen to you?"

"Yeah. I have flashbacks. They've been better lately. You're the reason, I snap outta them so quickly."

"I-I am?"

"Yeah. I just see you holding me and I snap outta them. You help with my depression too. I love seeing you. I love waking up next to you. I love coming home to you."

"I-I'm extremely trapped. I want my life back."

He sighed.

"I'm sorry but, you can't get your life back. It's there for the rest of your life. Your trauma stays with you. You just learn to tolerate it and live with it."

"Do you miss Masie?"

"Uhh. Why're you bringing her up?"

"I just...I know she meant a lot to you."