The Boy Trapped

Chapter 30

Nyxon's POV
"My PTSD is...is all over the place. I-I'm terrified. I-I really am. Y-you know me. I-I'm scared to sleep. I-I don't want to eat. I-I'm sorry. I-I've gotta sit. I-I'm gonna fall if, I don't."

I walked over to the couch and sat down. My left leg started bouncing. I put my head in my hands.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Kill me.

Kill me.

KILL ME!

I heard tapping and looked up. One of Colette's hands was tapping on the bed rail. I jumped up and ran up to the bed. Her eyes were opened.

"O-oh my god. H-hey."

I ran and got someone.

"S-she's up! She's up!"

A nurse followed me into the room. He took Colette off the ventilator. She started coughing. She held her arms out and I started hugging her. She was holding my hair.

"I love you!"

She cleared her throat.

"Take it easy. You've been on a ventilator for a month."

She started hugging me tighter. She wasn't able to talk for a few weeks. She had to write down everything. She was getting frustrated since she had a hard time spelling. I took everything away from her.

"Take a breath. Your heart needs to heal."

She tilted her head to the side.

"I-I haven't told you?"

She shook her head.

"Okay. Don't freak."

She started staring at me. She held her hands out and I gave her, her writing things back.

"I-I'm serious. Y-you almost died babe."

She wrote "Tell me".

"First off, do you remember anything?"

She stopped to think.

"Do you remember your panic attack?"

She nodded.

"Do you remember me carrying you?"

She wrote "Why are you asking all of these questions?".

"Y-your heart, literally broke. I-it's an actual condition. It's "Broken Heart Syndrome". Y-you died in my arms Cole."

She wrote "I'm so sorry!".

"Hey, don't apologize. You didn't mean to."

She wrote "Are you mad?".

"No. You seriously think, I'd be mad at you?"

She nodded.

"Did you uh...hear anything, I said? Do you remember?"

Please don't.

She wrote "I heard you say you want to die. Why?".

"Shit. You heard that. I uh...my trauma won for a bit. I-I don't want to live without you. I-I'm sorry."

She started to look sad. She started hugging me.

"I-I'm sorry Coley. Y-you probably know...I'm not sleeping or eating, then right?"

She nodded. I looked down.

"Welp...I'm in trouble."

She used her index finger to lift my head up. She wrote "You're not in trouble. I understand."

"Y-you do?"

She nodded again. She wrote "I get like this too.".

"I-I didn't think...I-I'm sorry."

She started writing but kept trying to spell something. She was getting upset. I took everything away from her again. I looked at what she was trying to write.

"Are you trying to say, I should stop apologizing?"

She nodded.

"Ah. I have a hard time spelling that too."

She opened her mouth.

"Don't rush it."

She shut her mouth and nodded.

"Don't get me wrong, I want to hear your voice. I just don't, want anything to happen to your throat."