Tasty Oneshots

𝑆𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 4

This morning, I woke up with salt in my eyes.

I got up, and made my way to the bathroom. I accidentally step on a plastic recycle bag.

"AAHHHHHHHH! ARE YOU OKAY?! IM SO SORRY!!" I pick up the bag and cradle it in my arms. "I'm sorry! Poor baby, you can sleep in my bed today." I put the bag into my bed, and cover it with the blankets.

I make my way downstairs, and eat some paint for breakfast.

As I sweep the huge piles of turmeric off the floor, I eat some popcorn while thinking of how sexy clowns are.

I leave the house, and continue eating my popcorn.

I am slapped in the face with confusion. Where am I? Why am I driving?

I remember I am going to work, and I nod in acceptance.

When I get to work, I am met with a screaming goat.

"Hello boss! What would you like me to do today?"

The goat continues screaming.

"I see, I will make sure to successfully eat the broken pieces of cement falling from the smashed ceiling!"

Throughout the day, I eat the ceiling, and eventually come time for me to go back home.

Once I enter, I am met with a horrible taste of cherries.

I enter the living and see a horse sitting on the couch, watching porn.

I walk past him and enter the kitchen.

I eat a whole raw pumpkin.

After my delicious meal, I leave the kitchen, and walk upstairs to my imaginary palace.

I strip naked, and lay down on the bed, with the bag, along with my dead skin.

I fall asleep, only thinking of my father covered in oil.