A little too tired of just hanging on

Chapter 08

Harley and Peter were in a competition of sorts without even knowing it. Both teenagers were trying to reach out to the genius. They were calling and texting almost every day. Peter was winning thanks to the sheer amount of calls but Harley was number one at leaving actual messages. Tony didn't know why he was keeping his phone on. It was cruel for all of them. He couldn't answer even if he wanted to. He couldn't bring them down with him. Things weren't getting better on the contrary.. He listened to every single message though. Many times over.

Harley was angry. The world was going against his father for what? For listening to them? That made him mad. Tony was his father even if they weren't related by blood, even though they had never really talked about it. What was there to talk about anyway? They were connected. Their link had become deeper with the years. Tony didn't have to stick around but he had always taken the time to listen to him, to help him when he could. It wasn't about the money or the fame. Harley's workshop had been upgraded but Tony never interfered with their life unless they asked him to. Harley knew that the genius would have done anything for the Keeners. The teenager didn't want the money. What they had was worth so much more.

Now Tony was leaving him. Somehow it felt worse than when his actual father had left him. His real dad had gone to 7-Eleven to get scratchers and Harley guessed he won because he never came back. The situation with Tony was different. The old man was probably staying away because he wanted to protect them. The world was against him and by extension against anybody who would have stayed by his side. It wasn't that hard to understand. Tony was always the one to sacrifice himself. Harley wanted to know what had happened in Siberia. It was the pivotal moment that had changed everything, he knew it.

Peter was calling to tell the genius about his day. How he had stopped a burglar. How he had helped an old lady and got a churros for his troubles. The teenager was struggling with it all. Germany, the accords, the world. Peter had such a big heart, he just couldn't understand what was happening. Happy was there to help as much as he could. That was good. May was Peter's anchor like she always had been since the death of his parents. Tony could hear how the young man's voice was losing its cheerfulness, its light. The world and Tony in particular - the genius knew that all too well - were killing Peter's innocence little by little. Taking Spiderman to that battle in Leipzig was one of Tony's biggest mistakes.

Tony wanted nothing more but to reach out for them. Out of everybody, they were the ones who deserved that mess the less. The genius would have wanted to take them from it all and fix everything for them. He was the mechanic, that was what he did but this time he couldn't. Tony knew himself well enough by now to know he wasn't in a good place. Tony could self-destruct like nobody else's business. He always had. That was probably his super power. Despite his flamboyant persona, expressing himself had always been difficult to him when it counted. Taking the teenagers down with him was too much of a risk.

Afghanistan had opened his eyes to the consequences of his actions. Ultron had put a face on his victims. Charles Spencer had no business dying so young. Of coursen that wasn't what Tony had wanted. The Ultron program was meant to protect the world, to build a shield around the planet. Good intentions never changed anything. He had been trying to be better, to help more people. The lives he had saved would never replace the ones lost because of him. He owned up to his mistakes and tried to improve himself even now.

Harley and Peter were the ones he was fighting for now. He was a futurist, Clint had told him so. Tony wanted to save the world for them, so they could live on and do wonderful things with their lives. They would do great things, so much better than him. Tony was not a good adult presence to be around them. He had been told that quite enough. Natasha loved to remind him of his failures. There were plenty.