A little too tired of just hanging on

Chapter 18

Nobody really knew who Tony Stark really was, even the ones close to him. He had just saved the galaxy and people finally seemed to wake up to the person he actually was. Were they that blind before? The genois had worn a multitude of masks during his life, that much was true. It was true to a certain extent, that the public didn't know the real him. It was a strange effect of being famous. The public had this idea of him, based on an interview here and an article there. They liked to think they had you all figured out. God forbid if he was to act differently than what they thought he ought to be doing. Tony had accepted that, giving them what they wanted to see, putting on the right mask at the right time.

What about the people close to him, working with him? Perhaps alongside him would be a better word, more accurate. Pepper had been there with him for years. The Avengers had lived with him in the tower and then the compound. Surely, they should have known better. Now, Tony was receiving letters and emails of old teammates or almost teammates that really just showed how much they didn't know him in the slightest.

Scott Lang had to give his message to Rhodey, which really must have been difficult. The Colonel was trying to protect Tony as best as he could, all those things he should have done all along. Tony didn't know Scott at all, but, apparently, Land had known enough of him to fight him. Hank Pym hated Howard with all his heart. The genius wouldn't fault him for that. Tony hated his own father most of the time. Pym didn't seem to differentiate father and son though, even years after the events. Shield was probably the reason behind the feud between the two scientists. The spy agency liked to pit people who worked for them against each other. Their secrets had secrets. If their employees had really been working all together, they would probably have seen Fury and his cronies for what they really were and fled as far as they could.

Lang and Wilson had been friends since the break-in in the compound. It wasn't not surprising, they were alike in a way. Scott had taken Hank at his words and Sam had believed everything that went out of Rogers' mouth. Despite the fact they were smart people, they never asked questions, never tried to think for themselves. They didn't even read the accords before opposing them. It took them quite a lot to open their eyes.

At least, they were apologising now, even if Tony didn't know what to do with that. The genius hesitated quite a long time about answering at all. He owed them nothing, especially since they never listened to her in the first place. Land had a daughter and that decided Tony. He wouldn't be another Pym. Children should never pay for their parents' mistakes, something that was happening a little too much in life unfortunately. Tony just wouldn't be part of that. He thought about Kat and her watch. He would do the same again.

Tony rewrote his answer to Sam about a thousand times. It was always starting well and then, his bitterness started sweeping through his words. Of course, he had all the right to be. Tony wanted to sound detached, like they had no hold on him anymore. He was in that weird sort of place where he didn't care about his old teammates. They could say anything now, he would not listen to them. But at the same time, looking back, he couldn't help being sour. The ties would need to be cut clean off.

Sam had not wanted the accords from the get-go. He probably didn't feel guilty for the data dump. That had been a job well done for Rogers' team. Shield had been a shady agency from its creation but not all Shield was Hydra. Most of the agents had been recruited on an ideal. They were protecting the world against bigger threats, keeping the people unaware of the danger they were in. Did Sam ever turn around and ask himself if they had done their best, if there wasn't any other way? Rogers and his team wanted so much to be the good guys that they couldn't fathom they could do any wrong.

Dumping all of Shield's data meant putting in danger thousands of innocents. Only a third of the agents were actually Hydra. That implication should have followed Sam everywhere he went. Mistakes shouldn't be repeated, Tony knew something about that. The genius had always drowned under the weight of his own errors. He certainly had taken too much on his shoulders, some that wasn't completely his own to begin with or at all.