My Sister's Best Friend [T.Chalamet]

39

Today was the day that I found out you were someone else. The worst thing I never hoped became true.

Breathing started to get a little bit harder and my vision became slightly clouded as tears started to well up in my eyes. But swallowing bile, blood and a feeling I can't really name I smiled and said that I was happy for you.

That of course wasn't a lie, I'm happy that you're happy but it just kills me that you couldn't be happy with me because I tried, I tried so hard to make it work but in the end you knew what you wanted and it wasn't me, it was her.

It was probably her all along.

I wonder if any of it was true.

Any of us was true.

I hate you timothée chalamet because I'll have to wonder for the rest of my life why I was not enough.
But that's not on me.

That's on you.

I woke up and heard shouting but at the same time whispering. Someone was whisper shouting? I walked out of my room and heard him, i felt my entire heartbeat pause in that moment. "just let me talk to her please Saoirse, if you would just let me explain" I did not hear anything after that because she was looking straight at me right after she ended the call.

I still saw him. Gosh the state of him. He looked like a mess. His eyes were bloodshot red and his hair was messy. not regular curly messy. Messy. He looked like he's been up all night.

Immediately, Soairse jumps towards the cloth and sprays the table pretending as if I did not just walk into timothée pleading her to talk to me. He looks like a mess. One part of hurts so much at this level of distrust which makes me so angry but another part of me wants to know why.

Truth is I should never have cared. But I did care.
I cared a lot. And I still fucking care. That was the problem.

"I want to talk to him," i state breaking the silence and she freezes briefly for a second or two, then continues cleaning the table, ignoring me. 

I walk up to her and ask her again, She turns to look at me and sighs, "I'm doing this for you," she says, "it would be so much better if you spoke in person about this."

Silence.

I don't say anything because I understand.

She cleans the table and sits down, taking another seat out for me to sit next to her. I follow her. "You know, hollywood is a very complicated industry. They show you one thing but it means the complete opposite. In basic terms, it is fake." She states, "I'd advise for you to talk to him definitely but..." she sighs and doesn't finish. At the same time, I understand what she is trying to say.

He is busy filming and she doesn't want to disrupt that either. She's angry too at him and hurt too at this distrust.

—-

When I can't sleep at night, I stare at the empty side of my bed and wonder about the things I would tell you.
if you were lying next to me.

you can't forget someone when you're still hoping for them to come back. I try to but I can't. You walked into my life like you had always lived there, like my heart was a home built just for you.

I went into my room and switched on my phone. Soairse was right; I should talk to him but he's busy filming in the uk right now and I felt if we did not talk about it now, delaying it would just make it worse?

I scrolled through my phone at his messages.

I took a deep breath and picked up his call.

He repeated again and again that lily and him were not dating. He just said to the interviewee so that other talk shows would stop asking him the same ridiculous questions. Yet some part of me still doubted that. I'd seen soarise's interviews and how she handled these kind of questions too, instantly shutting them down instead of giving false answers. I took a deep breath as there was silence on the call. He was waiting for me to say something. "Okay," i murmured.

"I'd never do that to you," he paused, "I love you. You know that, right. Only you"

I pause.

I get they are just trying to get something between lily and him because of the movie and that his manager advised him to promote this movie through their great chemistry  in order to spread this film and make it more popular. I believe him.

"Can we go back to normal?" He asks, "Please," he pleads.

I pause.

"Sure"

***
(853 words)

I know this chapter is so short, but I'm a disappointment. More to come, hopefully 😈