My Sister's Best Friend [T.Chalamet]

42

The silence after the rain shows how quickly the sky pulls itself together. I wish I could do that as easily.

When I can't sleep at night, I stare at the empty side of my bed and wonder about the things I would tell you if you were lying next to me. How would you hold me and nestle your face in my hair?

That's all gone now.

College has started for me now. I bet you don't even know that. I see articles about you and Lily every single day, unwillingly. Thank God for university, I tell myself every single day. At least I can drown myself in academic studies instead of focusing on the great hole you left in my heart. I trusted you. I loved you. I put my faith in you, and what did you do?

The thing is, I tell myself I hate you, but truthfully, I don't. I will love you. Always. Even from a distance, I did. I do. Even in the arms of someone else.

I guess, just like the moon, we must go through phases of emptiness to feel full again. That is what I intended to do.

The first year has been crazy so far. I had so much reading and extra hours to spend doing the extra reading for my classes and assignments. Part of me hated it, but secretly I adored every second of it. Soairse was busy too, preparing for her role as Jo March. She was always reading books by or written by Louisa May Alcott. I tried my best too help her in her preparation for this role. We would spend our Friday nights watching and rewatching the old version of Little Women; my favourite was the one with Winona Ryder and Christian Bale.

A few months later (at the end of first year),

Timothée pov

I take one long look at this message and her name, and I erase it. I sit there on the sofa, staring at the ground, because I just cannot handle the way she is looking at me right now.

"You're doing it again."

I look up. Fuck. I'm panicking because my hand is ruffling through my hair, pulling out the knots in my curls and making it more frizzy.

Truthfully, I'm freaking terrified. I haven't seen her in months; i don't know how she's doing.

There is something to be said about two people who find each other time and time again. No matter what situations they end up in or how far apart they become, they come back to each other. Those are the people who have a little thing called fate on their side. Those are the people I envy. It's almost like the world is saying, "stop separating; you are meant to be together." Well, y/n, I really hope this was for us.

'She cried over you. She cried for days.'

'I know," I murmured.

'Then why didn't you reach out to her? Why didn't you give her what she needed?'

I really thought that out of every single person I knew, soairse would be the one to understand. I guess I was wrong.

The door opened and I could feel the air between my breaths. Her beautiful, bright eyes remained the same. I saw the immediate rise in shock of seeing me there but then the instant control.

She's changed.

you can see it in her eyes, feel it in her touch, and hear it in her tone.

she's not the same. and she's never coming back.

That wall she broke down for me has been rebuilt and put back up.

We talk and she sits down next to Soairse, not me. It was not a surprise; I expected it. After a few minutes of silence, soairse gets up to leave the room. I can feel her glare at me; it feels like harsh lasers burning through my body.
I try to speak but I can't. I fumble and only a few phrases come out. "My manager, umm, they still want me to, umm, you know." I look at her and I can see the hidden pain spread across her face with a look that gives the subtle expression of not giving a fuck.

"Dating her?" She spits out.

I feel my entire body tense so hard that my body feels like it's frozen. Fuck. It's getting hot in here. Is it just me? "Yes," i eventually sputter out, "but please, you have to know I do not have feelings for her," i plead. I look up at her in hope that she understands and maybe everything can be restored but she's changed.

I wonder if she comes off as strong, but maybe she fell asleep crying. She acts like nothing is wrong, but maybe she's just really good at lying.

I really hope so. Is it selfish of me that even after everything, I still want you and only you?

A part of me wishes I would say that aloud but by the way, you are sitting across me. I don't think so. Silence follows afterwards and I take that as a sign. I get up and turn to leave.

Y/n pov

He leaves. He has the audacity to say that one sentence to me and then leave? Again? Without saying goodbye?

He looks different now. His hair is much longer than it used to be and it looks worse, honestly. More rough. As if he has not brushed it in days. He looks skinnier than normal. For him. As if he has not been eating. A part of me wonders for how long.

Soairse calls after him but by then, it's too late. I look at Soairse, and I've never seen her like this. She looks so stressed. She's walking around the room, mumbling things under her breath with her thick accent I know it's about Timothée, but what.

"Saoirse?" I ask. "Is everything okay? With him?" She turns and looks at me for a few seconds, then changes into a smile as she shakes it off.

"Of course it is. Enough about that. How was your last day of first year?" She asks as she pulls me to sit next to her on the sofa.

***
(1038 words)