My Sister's Best Friend [T.Chalamet]

46

March 2020

I had to see him. Speak to him, at least. Maybe confront him and ask about it?

I shut my book and left my room, walking towards the kitchen to look for something to eat. As i looked around,  I heard the front door open. It could not be so; she was out with some friends.

He walked over and when he saw me, he paused in his tracks. "Sorry, I was looking for Saoirse," he says.

"She's out"

He pauses. I don't say anything either. So silence fills up the room.

"My bad, I'll call her next time. " He turns to leave but i offer him a pot of noodles i was making. He hesitates for a few seconds but nods his head. He does not look at me, though; he takes a seat in the kitchen as I wait for the noodles to boil.

He's sitting there, waiting to see what im going to do, When he sees im not saying anything, he goes on his phone.

"Have you ever thought about us, timothee?"

"Of course I do," he replies instantly, "i think a lot about how timing really is everything. We had everything: we had the chemistry, we had the love, and we had the entire universe. It just was not ready for us," he continues, taking a deep breath as he waits for my reaction. He is still facing the table where his ohone is angled towards him but his eyes occasionally glance up to get a glimpse of me, if i am reacting at his response.

I look at him and say, "you know, timothee, you were the love that came without warning for me." i pause as he looks up at me. "And then it all exploded. you broke my heart."

He puts his head down and i can see his ears are red, meaning he's embarrassed and ashamed.

"If i had to explain what heartbreak was, I would say it's you, Timothee," i continue. "You know i could feel you pulling away since the Oscars; that was heartbreak. That feeling i got in my chest when you did not wait for me or acknowledge me. I would say heartbreak is looking you in the eyes and hearing you say i love you, knowing you did not mean it."

"y/n I-"

"I would say heartbreak is lying in bed crying at 3am, because i knew you did not care anymore. I would say heartbreak is falling so in love with everything about you and thinking you actually loved me too."

"y/N, come on, you know i-"

"I've always heard people talk about how it feels to not be loved by the one person you love. Fuck,  you know, i've been in this place before, worse, but i never expected you would put me there again."

I can see his jawline harden as he clenches his teeth, He looks up at me and says, "Listen, I dont know what else you want me to say. I said i'm sorry and i'll keep saying that for the rest of my life but do you ever wonder maybe we did not work out just because the timing was not right?"

In that moment, i want to feel angry at him for saying that. I really do. Simply because it is not true but i am fool. I guess we are all fools when it comes to love. One glimpse of him looking at me and i feel everything return. We look at each other for the first time what feels like years and just like that, there is so much love in our glance. And yet, somehow, the timing is still not right. And it seems that this is how it will always be for the two of us—just like thunder and lightning, our timing will always be a little off.

His face moves towards me and i guess he feels it too as he pulls towards me but alas, the timing isn't right. So I pull away slightly so his lips aren't near mine. "Why?" He whispers, looking down at my lips.

I remember lily and the party. How he was looking at her. How his hand rested around her waist. How he's in love with her. He's looking at me now and he pulls away in shock. Fuck,  I said that out loud.

"No," he replies, instantly shaking his head. He doesn't accept it. He claims the way he looks at her is not what love looks like.

"Then what does love look like?" I ask.

He moves closer and pulls a loose strand of my hair behind my ear yet his gaze does not break away from mine, "like everything I ever lost comes back to me." He grabs my hands and intertwines them with his. "Please," he pleads and his voice cracks. "Stay. I need you." I can see his eyes fill with water, "more than you think."

I want to but something just feels off. He's still got a public relationship with lily. His manager. Maybe the stars are not aligned in our favour. Perhaps, like the moon, we must wait. And so, I pull away, "you're still with her," i respond blandly, more like forcing myself out when my hands ache to touch every centimetre of his face and my lips to smash on his and my body wrapped around his.

He looks at me and I can see it in his eyes, I look away to make it easier. It's not.  "So it's really over then?"

I don't respond and by the time I look up at him, he's gone.

***
(947 words)
I thought I'd let you lovelies know there are only 3 chapters left!!! Aghhh, omg, I cannot believe this book is coming to an end.