Torn: A mindless behavior story (On Hold)

Really.. I Was Trying to Relax

I stared at him for a long time without making moves. There was something inside me that felt so attached to Prince, but Sam popped in my head so i quickly forgot about us. I gave him a sly smile and exited through the back of the party

I woke up the next morning with a major headache. I didnt drink, so it had to be from the constant loud music i was hearing all night. I wanted to go to the party to make Ray jealous, but ended up kissing Prince? I was past confused and my love life was just complicated. I had too much on my mind so i decided to have a day in to just relax.

I looked at my phone and i had three messages. One from Ray,One from Prince. and one from an unknown number.

Rays text read "You looked beautiful. You know i still love you." I replied by saying "funny way of showing it"

Prince text read "I miss tasting you" Ugh he's such a freak. I decided to reply"Im sure Sam tastes better, asshole." No matter how much i cared fir Prince, he did the ultimate betrayal. I know i was with Ray, but that started as a mistake, Prince and Sam done it to hurt me on purpose.

My mom was at work, as usual, so i knew i could relax how i wanted to. I had on nothing but a big t-shirt and boy shorts, and my hair was in a bun. I spent this day just watching movies,eating snacks, and just playing around. I was having a good chill day, until, i heard a knock at the door.I decided to answer anyway and it was no suprise who it was, Ray.I rolled my eyes and let him in. He looked like he had something on his mine, and when he spoke i could tell

Ray:You know i love you right

Me:Yeah Ray you say that everyday but whatever

Ray:When i tell you something are you gonna be mad?

Me:Depends on what it is

Ray:*sighs, she's pregnant.

My heart instantly sunk. I knew exactly who he was talking about his girlfriend.

Me:Good for you i said.

Hearing that made me go back to the day i had the abortion. Everything in my head was telling me dont, but i did anyway. I should've listened. I began to tear up, my emotions was flowing. I blew up before i knew it.

REALLY RAY! I WAS TRYING TO RELAX AND YOU BRING THIS BULLSHIT TO ME! HOW CAN YOU GET HER PREGNANT RIGHT AFTER I HAD THE ABORTION. YOU WANNA KNOW SOMETHING, I KNEW IT WAS YOURS, THATS WHY I KNEW I COULDNT KEEP IT. PRINCE AND I WEREN'T EVEN HAVING SEX RIGHT AROUND THE TIME I GOT PREGNANT. THAT'S WHY YOU WERE SO QUICK TO LET ME GET THE ABORTION BECAUSE YOU KNEW YOU WOULD HAVE TWO BABIES ON THE WAY.

I was fuming. This mf had my blood boiling. I was red, shaking, and crying. All my emotions were showing but i didnt care.

He started walking towards me. I began shaking me head no becuase i just knew. "Im sorry, Im sorry" was all he kept saying why walking up to me. i began hitting him. Face, chest, everywhere. "Im sorry" was all he said, and then he kissed me."NO!" I kept saying but he knew i would give in, he knows me to well. He kissed my neck but im steady screaming no. Im crying, screaming no, and liking it all at the same time. It was so crazy. I knew deep down what was going to happen, and for some reason, I needed it. He ripped my boy shorts off and slid down, i knew wat he was about to do. I let out a loud sigh when i first felt his tounge hit me. It was so unreal. Everything i felt immediately went away. He eventually came up and he pulled his pants down and entered me slowly. "I'm sorry" is the only thing he kept moaning in my ear the whole time. Tears were still falling. 

He made love to me right against the wall of my living room. It was wrong, but it felt so right. I never understood why when we had sex i felt like different, but i knew it was because we had love with it. Nearly every time I've had sex with Ray, i was crying. Emotions are always taking over when we are together. As much as i wanted to say no, i always ended up saying yes.

After about an hour or so Ray left. We said nothing to each other. It's like the sex spoke for us, but i still was mad and i still didn't know what to do about Prince. With Ray we had a spiritual and physical connection, but with Prince it was Mental amd Physical too.. Both of them has destroyed my outlook on love and relationships, but i knew deep down i wasn't through with either of them yet.

Here we go again....