30 days writing

day 6: single and happy

So there are a few days were I have to talk about subjects related to love, like for example: day 16: someone I miss, day 17: ways to win my heart, day 19: my first love, day 21: self love, day 28: loving someone...

Anyway, there will be some days were I will have to talk about romantic stuff, but today is day 6, which means: no love. Single. And happy.

I don't think I would consider myself being exaclty happy about being single, but I am just going to clarify: I have never been in a relationship before in my life. Some people have been in dumb relationships, like the kind of relationships you are in elementary school. Sometimes you ask someone: have you ever been in a relationship? And they answer: no. But actually they've been in one of this dumb relationships. Well, in my case, I am serious abot this. I have never been in any kind of romantic status.

Actually, I can't really compare how being single feels like because I haven't been in a status that isn't exaclty single. 

I think that being single right now and being kind of happy about it has a lot to do with my past self. I've always admired my future self and I still do. That's why when I was 10 I admired my 16 year old self very much. 

Since I was 10 years old I promised myself something: I wouldn't have a couple until I was at least 16. I am going to be honest, it wasn't difficult to keep that promise. I am currently fifteen and no one has ever had feelings for me.

A lot of people ask me: why did you create that stupid rule? Well, it's for a very simple reason: cringe. Even when I was 10 I felt sorry for others that were a couple at my age, the kind of sorry that my generation defines as: "cringe". That's why, to avoid being in dumb and childish relationships that the only thing they do is ruin friendships, I created this kind of law or promise to give myself.

There is this website called: futureme.org and what it does is send emails to your future. So you write an email and mark a date and the text will arrive to your mail on that date.

I actually have a letter from 2020 that is arriving next year on my 16th birthday. I can already picture the email being like: oh god, you're 16 and you must be so pretty and now you can date whoever you want... and stuff like that.

Also, last year on october I got a letter from the year before. And I completly forgot about me writing that letter. That just hit me hard. I was going to go to sleep and suddenly I got an email and I was like: "what the hell is this". I just clicked on the thing and it was like: "Hey Vicky of the future! I hope you're having a great time...". It was normal but for some reason I started crying remembering how I was last year. It was only a year but I changed so much.

Anyway, I am getting off topic now. So, "single and happy".

I am not desperate for love and I am not super excited to be single. I could really use some male validation, for some reason I feel like I need it very much.