Given Butterflies

First kiss

"I didn't know they made them so big." Mafuyu said behind me. I tried not to jump. He was so close. Why had I done this? I wanted to scream.

"Oh, uh, well yeah. I guess." I stammered pulling back the edge of the bag. "Um..." I began.

"Can I get in first?" he asked me. His smile was so cute. I gaped at it as he stood waiting. I saw a shiver run through his body.

"Oh! You're cold. Yes, get in." I backed away so he could climb into the warmth. We had already changed into sleeping clothes.

Once he was settled I crawled in. He smiled at me. "I forgot a pillow." His giggle was soft.

"Um, want to um..." I was going to offer to share mine but he moved over to lay his head on my chest. I felt my face heat up. His arm came around my waist.

"Ritsuka?" He asked. Was it weird that I liked how he said my name.

"Uh, yeah?" I asked him.

"I want, um well you see um..." He paused. I felt his body shiver then begin to shake. I lifted his chin up. Big wet tears were ruling down his face.

"Mafuyu what is it? What's wrong?" I asked sitting up. He clung to my waist.

"I really like you." He cried. I tried to pat his back.

"Yeah, I like you too." I told him. He shook his head wiping his tears on my chest.

"I shouldn't." He cried. "You shouldn't." He was sobbing so hard now that I don't think he could talk. I laid back down.

Pulling him tighter into my arms I began to sing. It was a little song my sister and I wrote. It was stupid. We had been just kids when we wrote it. It was all about the different seasons and how we liked each one. It didn't really make a lot of since. By the time I finished it, Mafuyu wasn't crying any more. He gazed down at me with this look on his face. I smiled, or tried to.

"That was weird." Mafuyu muttered.

"Well I was like five when I wrote it!" I cried. He giggled his hands still on my chest.

"Seriously?" he asked. I nodded. He laughed again.

"That's cute. Little Ritsuka writing songs." He rested his chin on his hand that was over my heart.

"Well, Yayoi helped." I muttered.

"Did she?" he asked. I felt something near my head. I tried to look without disturbing him.

"You have soft hair. I wondered..." He raised his hand were he held a strand of my hair. I relaxed knowing it wasn't a bug crawling into it.

"Mafuyu?" I asked.

"I told him to die for me." He whispered in a far away tone. "I didn't mean it. I was so upset that he always canceled on our plans for his band or his job. It was like now that we went to different schools, he had no time for me." He sighed. I rubbed his back.

Yuki. I wish he was still alive so I could kill him! I shuddered to think something like that. I looked into those sad eyes.

"I, uh, I'm sure it wasn't what um why he um..." Mafuyu lightly placed his hand over my mouth.

"I found him." He whispered. "His mom was working overnight that night. I came by in the morning to apologize and I found him." His head sunk lower to rest on my shoulder. I stroked his hair. It felt like silk. Was that weird for me to think?

"I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say.

"He knew." I heard his breath catch. "Kashima." He whispered. "He, he told me..." He began to sniffle. I wrapped my arms around him.