as i sit there, my palms sweaty and my head pounding, i think.
i think, think, think.
i think about every single thing you have done to me,
the lies,
the manipulation,
the tears,
the dreams,
the pain,
the days wasted,
everything.
i think about how much hurt you have caused me,
and i think about how much time i wasted on you.
staring at the clock, waiting for you to show up any minute.
because i truly believed you would show.
but once again, you didn't.
you let me down as you always did.
but the most recent time you did it,
i didn't even cry.
i didn't even have a reaction, as i was waiting for it painfully.
how, after all this shit you have put my through,
how is it that i still need you?
