Suffering in silence - Evansson

Chapter 11

Listen to Song up above for extra sadness, the song is what inspired this whole story. ⚠️major trigger warning⚠️

Her heart pounded aggressively in her chest, her
throat sore from weeping. She couldn't sit still as Robert sped down the busy roads. Angry Californians honked aggressively, almost in tune with each other. But the sounds all blurred together as Scarlett fiddled with the papers in her hand, tears pouring down her- now red and blotchy- face.
"He's okay, right?" She chocked, turning to Robert in hopes for comfort, or a lie, anything to ease the agony in her head in that very moment.

But Robert doesn't lie.

"I don't know." His large brown eyes welled up, but he blinked the dampness back. The last thing Scarlett needed was him crying.

She was silent for a few moments, making Robert take his eyes off the road to check on her. Her hands were balled into fists, the letter still inside. She let out a long antagonising cry, as she hit the dashboard, repeatedly.

Thump.
Thump.
Thump.

Her fists throbbed, but she couldn't care.
Not when her best friend was suffering, and she didn't even notice. He's been hurting for so many years, and looking back he was screaming for help. But she was too blind to notice.

"It's my fault." She sobbed, lip quivering aggressively.
"Hey. No. Do NOT do that to yourself, Scarlett." Robert scolded. His eyebrows furrowed, but he kept his eyes firmly on the road ahead, his anger seeping through them.
"I should have noticed. But I hurt him. It's my fault, Robert." She carried on, resting her head on the cool glass of the window.

"You couldn't have known. He's one of the best actors I know, and you cannot blame yourself. He did this. Not you. He chose this. Not you," he stated, firmly. As he took her hand in his, keeping the other on the wheel, she began to protest.
"But-"
"Don't you fucking dare. It is not your fault. Say it."
"I can't." She whimpered.
"Say it or I will pull over." He threatened, there's no chance she would let him pull over, not when Chris was about to, possibly, make the biggest mistake ever. She couldn't loose him.
"It's not my fault." She repeated, pulling out her phone for the thirtieth time.
"Good."

She called the same number again only to go straight to voicemail.
"Hey, it's me again. I uh, I'm sorry Chris. I should have noticed it-" she swallowed, her throat dry and scratchy. "I- please answer. I can't imagine a world with you gone. Don't do this. Please, I just- I'd be so lost if you left me alone. I love you so much, don't do this to me. To Rose. Just, just pick up."

Her eyes felt as though they were on fire, but the tears didn't seem to want to stop. The trees went by in a blur, flashes of different shades of green. Cars went by, speeding and crying for attention. The clouds bled into the sky, as the bright blue turned into a solemn grey.

It's funny how weather changes like that, from something beautiful to something chaotic. It's funny how, no matter how harsh and aggressive the rain or thunder is, it's still a captivating scene. Anger brought by Mother Nature. And after all the destruction, something beautiful always comes. Wether it be sunshine or a rainbow. The overwhelmingly reality, that, even nature needs to scream sometimes.

She never thought she would be the girl who didn't attend her wedding, who left the groom standing there confused and alone. With his best man, standing behind him, patting him on the back, muttering a pitiful "I'm sorry.". She felt cruel that there was a part of her that felt relief that they weren't getting married that day.

They finally reached Chris' home, within seconds she threw herself out of the car, welcoming the torrential down pour, soaking her cream white dress to the core. She ran across the lawn, mud seeping through the bottoms of the material, despite her efforts in holding the dress up. Robert trailed closely behind her, as she grabbed the spare key hidden inside a fake rock. In one swift motion, the door flung open, the wooden floor beneath the frame welcomed the aggressive rain and formed a puddle at the entrance.