V syndrome (VMIN)

열 하나

Loss

⊶───≺ ☯≻───⊷

New Year came with a surprise, China took control of the war, spared the northerners from risk, and pushed their forces towards the American bases, so Seoul became under Chinese and northern forces' control.

The benefit of all this is that the northern forces return to their positions so colonel V's battalion has returned to the camp loaded with their injured warriors and leaving their dead on the battlefield.

Jimin pov

It's mercy if I die, I crumble, and my heartbeat stops, and my breath ends its way through this earth's air leaving behind a trail, a thin line that connects its present to its past, then I'll cut the moments of awareness when time is unbearably long, and I absolve myself of pre-death images, thoughts before the end, pain before leaving, I free myself from waiting, this improbable person in improbable wartime when walking under the god's sky becomes madness and the air becomes heavy.

I keep walking, my feet unable to carry my body from how long I was standing and waiting at the camp entrance.
This is my condition since the battalion’s return, the day the commotion inside the camp and the clamor of the soldiers outside woke me up, I slowly opened my eyes wondering why all this noise, I asked the soldier and he answered me
"Ah right, the battalion has returned from the war. That's why the soldiers are on alert, they have returned with many wounded." My heart pounded, my eyes widened, and my mind slipped to only one person.

"Are they back?" I repeated strutting, he nodded at me
"I want to go to the colonel’s office right now," I said before pushing myself out of the cell. The soldier grabbed my wrist and said, "Wait, you can’t."
"Why can't I?" The shiver that went through my body was so sharp, and my eagerness to see V was moving me involuntarily.
He was about to answer if someone didn't appear from behind, I turned around with a wide smile.

"Younghoon, you're back!" I screamed running towards him, he had signs of exhaustion on his face, hugging me back "How are you Jimin?" he asked gently.
"I'm fine, I'm going to see the colonel," I answered with enthusiasm and a sweet smile.

Younghoon looked at the soldier and shook his head in disappointment, he held my shoulder.
"Jimin, look, you can't go the colonel is not there, he didn't return with us." He continued calmly as if he was considering my feelings.
"How come he didn't return where is he?" A shake in my voice began to appear, I am afraid of the answer!!

"We don't know Jimin, if he's not with the wounded, he's definitely-"
I didn't let him finish that disgusting word I run outside to the treatment rooms, I remember where the infirmary is, thanks to Namjoon.

I entered there, immersed among the wounded and the sounds of their pain, searching in their faces for the features of the one I love, my tears made their way out of my almonds when I didn't find a trace of him, I felt a touch on my shoulder, so I turned and saw Younghoon smiling sadly. He didn't know what to do to cheer me up. He also had no idea where's the Colonel.

"Jimin the colonel is not here, please let’s go."
"How can you come back and leave your leader behind, how can you do this?" I screamed at him how dare they deprive me of him.

"We didn’t leave him behind. The colonel disappeared a month before we returned Jimin, a shell fell on his location and we didn’t know anything after" That hot tear betrayed him. He went to fight next to his commander, but he was unable to protect him.
I wanted to get on my knees and scream, but I remembered V's sentence in the letter, 'Be strong and take care of yourself for me, bird'.