Umbutho

Ten

Ten
Uzenzile akha khalelwa (You have made your bed, now lie in it)

Here I am, wrapped around Phila's strong arms as he keeps telling me about himself. I am quietly being observant as I watch how his lips move and the ghost smile that seems to find itself on his face whenever he speaks about the woman that raised him. The fact that I told him how I felt about him makes my skin crawl mostly because I know I would be devastated if he ever hurt me in anyway. I trust this man in a not so normal manner. He makes me feel.

His eyes are stuck on the ceiling as his words keep flooding my eardrums. I remind myself to keep breathing when a sudden noise catches our attention. Phila is quick to stand up from the little concoction we made ourselves here in his apartment dinning area. "Ubani lowo? (Who is that?)" His voice filled with determination as he asks while pulling me to hide behind him and shields me from whatever is coming. I have a feeling today is one of the many tests that I am going to go through in this love battle we have going on.

There is more shuffling before a gun shot is heard throughout the whole apartment. Maybe we're being robbed but by the way Phila is proactively standing in front of me makes me think otherwise. "Go to the bedroom MaKhumalo and wait for me. Don't come out unless I call you to yezwa?" His voice is laced with panic and fear? Why is he scared? What is going on? Am i going to die? "Kwenzakalani Mbulazi? (What is going on?)" Yes I finally researched his clan names and this is when I get to use them? Now, when the situation is like this?

"Standwasami ngiyacela(My love please) just go to the bedroom, lock the door. I'll be back in a minute or so." My stubborn self won't allow me to lose the first man that I truely and honestly love wholeheartedly. So I shake my head denying his request before his whole demeanour changes from fearful and panicking to something I can no longer fathom. I swear i feel as though I am no longer speaking to my Phila. "MaKhumalo ngithe hamba. Manje. (I said leave. Now.)" I flinch as the harsh words pierce through my skin one after the other. I turn around then do as I am told and just as I enter the bedroom another gunshot is heard. What the hell is going on out there?

I don't have my phone with me. I don't know how long I've been here for but lucky enough the gunshots have stopped. I close my eyes for a brief moment before panic sets in as I hear the door knob turn vigorously as though someone was trying to get inside. I pull myself together then get under the bed praying that whatever it is out there, that the door is protecting me from it. I hear a loud thud before a male voice screams out and silence comes back to the place.

My face is stained with tears as I try and figure out why I even came here to begin with. I would've been safe in the high walls of the Khumalo home. I may not know what the Mabaso's and the Khumalo's do for a living but what I am sure of is that whatever it is, it's not legal. "MaKhumalo" Phila's voice cries out and in an attempt to make sure that it is him, i peak through the small opening under the bed and stare deep into his eyes. He looks as though he is mostly back from whatever that expression or emotion was back in the dinning area. I've never had such an experience before and I pray I never do.

He helps me up then checks for any visible injuries before asking if I have any that he may not see. Dude I am almost white so if I was bruised you would totally be able to see it. I shake my head no as he kisses the top of my head then makes me straddle him before sitting on the bed. This is when I realise that his once brown shirt is now drenched in blood. I shake as I close my eyes. It may not be legal but the fact that I am laying on a murders chest passes through me like a wave of electricity.

"I'm sorry Standwasami. This was not suppose to happen. My past needs to stay in the past. But I promise you MaKhumalo wam, i will kill for you over and over again till we reach our happily married life." His grip around my waist suddently becomes tighter as if his mind has wondered off and sought off to see something beside me. I feel like he's determined to crash my rib cage. "Phila... ah Phila uyanglimaza (you're hurting me) let go"

At this very moment I feel like we are back to the stoic faced, intimidating man that I don't even know. "Phila" why are my whispers going unheard? What is happening in Phila's mind in this very moment? Please let him stop, this really hurts. "Phila uyangi.. uyanglimaza (you're hurting me) stop please." My face has been restrained in tears and fear. Phila isn't even looking at me he keeps tightening his arms over and over again. At least let him hear my cries.

The door busts open as his rude brother walks in and pulls Phila away from me. I think his name was Phefumula. "Bafo... fuck kwenzenjani MaKhumalo? (What happened?)" His eyes bore through me as if I am the one that did all of this. I shake my head as my voice comes out in little pants of fear. I've never seen nor been in such a situation and it seems like I'm going to be in a lot more being Phila's girlfriend. "I...Ang...angazi (I don't know) Bhuti he just..." I am shaking all I want to do is just go home, cry in my father's arms let him comfort me just for a few hours before my heart betrays me and seeks to go back to the very same man.

"Ok ok... Please uhm... go to the other bedroom. I'll be there in a few minutes." I nod my head then run towards it. I've never been a praying warrior but I come upon the Lord our God to save that man. Look at me wanting to save his life after he almost squeezed me to death. I close my eyes as my arms instinctively wrap around my body.

I want to go home.