Way of the Sith

Chapter 12 - Family

Author's Note: In which Obi-Wan returns, a different man. :)

Thank you all so much for reading, voting, and/or commenting on this story! :D

~ Amina Gila

Anakin's heart is pounding when Obi-Wan's shuttle lands. He wants to speak with him again, but after he told Yoda, they only interacted once before his master left on a very extended mission. If his master suspects anything, he will be furious. He can't let his master sense his fear, though, so he struggles to let it go.

Obi-Wan looks slightly irked when he arrives, not as though that's surprising. "That was completely unnecessary," he grumbles, "I had no reason to go on that mission."

"The Council wouldn't have chosen you if there weren't a reason, right?" Anakin objects. He can't help how jittery he feels.

His master huffs. "Sometimes, I wonder if they're just trying to spite me."

Anakin can't help a faint smile. The one he gives feels mostly forced, anyway, though. "Maybe."

"Are you alright, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asks softly, "I can feel how withdrawn you are."

He needs to be careful. He can't deal with Obi-Wan's reaction to discovering Anakin betrayed him. It makes him feel sick knowing that he did it as is and facing his master's anger or disappointment or betrayal would be too much to handle. "It feels like I don't know you anymore," he says instead, nothing he hasn't said countless times before. It feels like he's slipping into a bottomless pit of depression in which he's only doing more and more things he'll forever regret, but he doesn't know how to stop it.

Obi-Wan lays his hand on Anakin's shoulder, warm and comforting. "I know. I am sorry you have to go through this. We never intended to hurt you. I wish I knew what to do. We can only spend more time with one another."

"Time doesn't do much," Anakin replies, closing his eyes briefly, "Master, you lived an entire life without me."

"I lost years with Vader, too. I understand this."

He loathes even more how it feels as though he's been stuck in this, and hasn't been able to get over what happened. He's been trying to help Ahsoka through the continued war – it's not easy. He would try harder to help Obi-Wan through this, too, if he knew what to do. But every time he thought of what Obi-Wan is now, he... couldn't. His master is a Sith, and that's everything he taught Anakin to destroy. Except, he can't do that if... it's his family.

Maybe he should leave the Order. Ahsoka is the only thing stopping him. He doesn't want to leave her.

"Little one," Obi-Wan says softly, "You are not alone in this."

The endearment warms something in his heart. It also makes him want to cry, because this is the affection he's wanted so much, but now that it's being offered, he doesn't know if he can accept it. "It always feels like I do," he confesses, "I can't call you my master anymore. And you..."

"I know I was... often harsh with you, even as a Jedi," Obi-Wan replies, "And I regret that, but we can't change it."

Anakin can't help briefly wondering if he should tell Obi-Wan himself that he, technically, betrayed him. He can't imagine being able to admit the entire thing, of how deeply his conflict was tearing him apart until he did... that. One thing he'll never be able to forgive himself for. The Obi-Wan he knew would be furious at him for it, and with the changes, he might not be, but that would be worse. It would be far worse if his master wasn't angry at him and understood it, because his guilt would destroy him.