Iris

Track 13: Malibu Nights (LANY)

Track time stamp: 0:45-0:57 // 1:01-1:40 // 2:17-2:40

What do you do with a broken heart?

(Flashback: Goodbye.)

"I'm calling everything off, Tokyo." Eyelids gone thick, too thick that Claire almost couldn't see a thing. Eyes painted bloodshot, it was too watery as if she had run an allergy.

The table separates her from Tokyo that was sitting on the other side.

It was quiet.

Two days after Reiko's burial, the house turned everything but life. The crown and stem rot and the leaves from the African violets turned dry and brown, it droops like a person's eye that was close to sleep. One of each three on each corner surfaced on top of the kitchen countertop. The dishes left on the rack remained unused since the last time they ate. Five days ago. The tap running in fast drips that was supposed to get fixed a week ago.

Everything was spick and span. Everything left, stayed as it is. Untouched. Unmoved.

The kitchen had an average size but it seemed like it felt so small that it was suffocating them. It somehow felt like the walls were crushing them inside.

Tokyo was just sitting there, lifeless. Her hands sit on her lap, fingers crossed. Head hung low, chin poking in the middle of her collarbones. Eyelids were way too heavy to even open them. It was like a bee sting, it feasted on her lids. The dark circles underneath her eye were getting visible to the naked eye. She barely even slept.

"H- how are you feeling?" Even speaking felt like strangling her to death. Each word chokes on her neck.

Claire quickly looks away, blinking before the waters that formed in her eyes fall before Tokyo's eyes. She couldn't bear to hold Tokyo's gaze. The pain kept stinging, it was crushing her inside.

"Better." No, not even close. She swallows down and sniffs.

Bags and suitcases were already in the front door. It was a hard decision but it took her no hesitations to do it. Her mind was settled. There was nothing that could change it.

"I know now that I'm better off without you."

Tokyo looks down and Claire took that as a chance to quickly wipe off the tear that dropped from her eye. She was too quick for Tokyo to even notice it. She didn't want her to notice it.

"Okay." Tokyo looks back up at her. For the last time.

It was too soft, too weak and too vulnerable that hearing it, tripled the ache in Claire's chest. Too much that she wished she was deaf. It breaks her heart.

"Goodbye, Tokyo."

Been on a highway, gone 120 miles per hour. Lucky you didn't crash. Hit a club, drowned 7 shots of whiskey. Lucky you didn't die from alcohol intoxication. Head across shore, get sobered by the waves. Lucky you didn't get pulled by the currents. Drove around in circles across streets, quiet night to empty thoughts. Lucky you got home safe and sound.

The alarm went off, head on for work and the fruit from yesterday kickstarts. Lucky your head still hasn't blown up. The aftermath kicking in, swore to never have a single shot for the nth time. Lucky, you're still alive.

That one guardian angel looking at you like he was ready to kick you out and throw you off to hell. Give me a g**d*m* break, kid. I'm just doing my job here.

And lastly, you wear that smile, like everything is fucking okay.

It shuffles repeat. It hits again. It relapses. It's a fucking circardian rhythm.