Blood & Bone [Book Three of The City of Eternity Series] [✔]

3.15: Hope

The man crept away with a less than conspicuous limp, forcing his way through the crowd clambering by the bar - even if it meant digging his shoulder into a few of the people vying for drinks. I trained my eyes back on him every few minutes, watching who he approached and how open they seemed with him. With each remarkably hopeful set of eyes I couldn't help but fall deeper into a sense of despair - it was only the realisation that anger would be the appropriate reaction to what was going on that gave me a slither of understanding. I could hardly blame them for not being as level headed given the situation we were currently facing.

Each one of us was bound by the drive to satiate our hunger; a hunger that gripped us from our core and demanded we appease it. If that hunger had the power to drive us mad on our better days, it would be hardly surprising if on our worst, when we had lost all hope, that we would turn our heads to meet the glimmer of possibility. If someone offered you their hand and promised without doubt you would be helped, empowered and not alone again, would it truly be easy to ignore it?

I had struggled.

From the very moment he spoke of his little plan, my mind had raced with images of revenge; pulling apart those that had done harm to me, to Western, but above all, those that had put their hands on my wife and extinguished her. I could stand side by side with people that would allow me to do so, without question I could fulfil that desire; they'd help me accomplish it.

But I would always waver. A mere glimpse past those images was Dhana, sitting there with a cheery smile and open arms. That was all I needed to swallow back that desire and replace it with a need for her to love me, but more than that, for her to be able to forgive me. If not for being unable to save her, for attempting living without her; and living could not mean destroying those around me.

For those that shook his hand with a glint in their eyes, maybe it was different. Maybe the people they held dearest weren't as intent on preserving their better nature. I just had to look at Fauna, who had been sitting meekly at the end of the bar since I'd arrived. The man had approached her last, perhaps he'd waded through the 'difficult' members first, leaving the most vulnerable and distraught for his last ditch efforts.

Given that I'd seen Fauna balled up in Central as her partner, Astan, was hauled off to the main building clutching at the guards with sharpened claws it wasn't a surprise she'd not only be here, but be open to this. Unlike Dhana, Astan would cheer Fauna on with any decision she made - violent and volatile or not.

When she shook his hand there wasn't a hint of apprehension. If anything, her face lit up more than just a fraction; and given how devastated she'd looked when I'd glanced her way earlier, that meant something.

As he parted from the pub, seemingly content with his poaching and my focus was forced back to my fingers strumming against the empty glass in my hands I was hit with a sullen emptiness. The pub which was often my sanctuary was now too loud and too familiar; each passing face offering a look so wound up with sympathy and fear that I wanted to tear each inch of skin off. I guess I couldn't blame them for the fear.