Battle Scars

Let me tell you a story

It had been a week since she had told Rhys about the carranam bond. A weight had lifted of her chest but it did not make the prospect of telling everyone else- safe for Amren- any easier. She wanted Az to know next though. His reaction meant the most somehow. They had never really defined what they were- with the new-found adoration, to the war to her mental health needing space and a break- she did not know where they stood now. Except that they were together out of mutual attraction, fondness and care. Eve did not name this feeling any further. Not so soon at least.

At present, she waited for Azriel to come meet her near the Sidra- on the other side of the music. She supposed one day, she would be ready enough to hear and dance without hurting too. Soon. She could feel it in her bones- the music; pulsing and ready to take over all.

A shadow materialized on her right and the familiar cologne entered her senses. "Good evening," his voice made her shiver. It always did. It wasn't fair but she was not complaining.

"Can we go somewhere private? Your apartment?" she asked. He nodded, "our apartment."

*****************

Eve stood in front of him, her fingers wringing together. She had said she wanted to talk to him but till now, she hadn't been able to utter a word. The dinner was long forgotten as Az got more and more concerned about whatever it was that she wanted to tell him.

"Eve, what is it?" he asked her slowly. "You can talk to me. About anything." She nodded in response. "I just- alright, I'm just going to spill it." Az walked over to her, taking her hands in his. Eve looked like she was ready to head into a battle.

"Remember when I went into the Cauldron?" He took in a sharp breath, "vividly." She chuckled a bit but he did not see the humour. "Well, its time I told you about what happened then. Rhys knows already and so does Amren as it was related to them. But I wanted you to know before I told anyone else." Az nodded, his heart beating wildly.

"I'll make it short and simple," she promised him. "The Mother was there- I felt her presence but did not see her being. I saw everything that was going on the battlefield but I was too drained to fight. The Mother gave me a choice. I could save Rhys and Amren that is, help them come back to the world, or I could go through the portal that was opened for me... back to New York. Apparently, my situation was bad enough for even the Mother to show pity. ... But, I couldn't do both. I had three minutes to choose. New York or Prythian. When my time was almost up- well, we both know what we chose, obviously. Make no mistake, I almost went back but.. my heart and mind made the decision to stay."

Az could only stare at her as she rushed the words out. He had almost lost her. He had almost lost his mate who was given only three minutes to make a choice so big. Suddenly, he was very, very angry. How dare the universe play with her like this. How dare she herself undermine her actions and strength.

"You stayed."

"I did. For multiple reasons. I-"

"You almost went back though." At this, Eve kept quiet. Shuddering, Az took a few steps back. He needed time. He needed to process. He needed-

"Az," Eve started toward him. He shook his head, backing away a bit more. "Don't."

"Please, let me-"

"No." He turned towards the door. "Rhys and Amren kept you from going home." He did not know if he should be grateful or angry at them. "It's not like that," she started and he could hear the desperation in her voice. And it was that and a tone of vulnerability and shiver that he and his shadows sensed in her stance that kept him from opening the door.

"Then how is it, Eve?" he breathed, turning toward her again. "Tell me and don't leave any detail out." He demanded of her.

All the times she had talked about going home to him after the war. Then chuckling, saying it wouldn't ever be possible now. He should've known; somehow. All the times she had cried herself to sleep or not wished to see anyone, especially Rhysand. All. The. Fucking. Times.