𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝘽𝙪𝙗𝙗𝙡𝙚: 𝘼 𝙈𝙖𝙉𝙖𝙣𝙛𝙛 ❤(On Hold)

54. 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗯𝘂𝗿𝘀𝘁!!🌠🌠

I opened my eyes with a sudden radiancy entering inside, depicting that it was a new morning, but my mind was still pouring with robust baggage of past few days.

The melodic songs of birds were drifting in, while my heart sank with a feeling that why cant I chirp like those carefree birds!!

The sun was radiating its heat and light all over the world, while my heart sank with a feeling that why can't I rise and shine!!

Everyone must be starting their new day with a new hope but why can't I start my new day with a new hope, why I was still stuck to my horrible past!!

Why God Why!!!

The sudden wave of frustration ran inside my mind causing me to scrunch my nose in irritation. I squeezed my eyes and again those dolorous scenes flashed in front of my closed eyes like a film.
Manik saying those words, He being so harsh to me, my mother's ignorance, my parent's fights, and my father unintentionally hurting me near my lips, and most painful thing, them being not acknowledging my wound that was hurting my soul, rather than body.

At least Manik wasn't like them, He surely hurted me but when he realized his mistakes, he didn't left any limit to make it up to me. But that's not easy I guess, at least not for me.
I surely know that the way He loves me, no one ever can or could, but the fact that his words have been hurted me enough was again and again hitting my mind on its weakest point.

The insecurities!!!

Well, I don't think those insecurities will ever leave me. That was the reason that I never wanted Manik to come near me, the only thing he is getting from me is hurt.
I may be hurt beyond limits but my heart, who is oh so madly in Love with him, is noticing each and every glistering pain of his eyes.

I certainly have an idea that He was smiling, Smiling only for me so that he can gather me up, but deep down He too was hurting with me, my pain and tears were suffocating him more than me, and thats the thing I never wanted for him.

But still, He is wearing the crown in the case of making me feel Loved!!
I never knew that he will control his anger just for me, I never knew that he will stop himself to argue with my father just for me, but He Did!!!! He surely Did!!! And Just For Me!!!

But again my insecurities kicked me up and I imagined my father and Manik fighting. A sudden horror rambled inside my veins!!
If it happens, whom will I support. And whom will I chose.
No I can't do that!!!

Manik is my Love, But my father is my First Love!!!
I can't leave Manik, not even my father. I can't chose anyone of them.
All the other things connected to each other and I shot my eyes open in horror.
Only a mere thought of choosing one of them was making me mad.

I got so freaked out that I didnt even cared that Manik was sleeping cuddling to me and I got up with a jerk disturbing his sleep too.
But that didnt caught my attention, my all the attention was caught by something wet between my thighs and it slipping down out of my inner wears. My Blood!!!!!
I guess, I ruined bedsheets and again, I freaked out more.

"Nandini!!! Doll what happened?? You okay??" He asked in a hoarse voice but I didn't listened and kept looking at him in horror.

He rubbed his eyes and notice my expressions. Suddenly, his eyes got widened and he cupped my cheeks lovingly.

"Nandini!! Did you....did you had any Nightmare??" He asked stammering as if he was more scared than me over the fact that I again had nightmares.

I frantically shook my head in negative and witnessed him to release some breaths which he was stopping without his own notice. He smiled at me and leaned towards me while I clutched the comforter more towards my waist, so that he shouldn't know that mess I have created.