Troubles Ahead

Positive

He comes out on the balcony with one test in his hand and I can't read his expression once again.

He hands it to me and I see a little plus sign........

"Um...."

I've been left speechless once or twice before but this will go down as the most memorable

"Nate this has to be a mistake" I say nervously

He's staring at the city without listening to my words

"Nate?" Nothing.

"Look we can fix this.. I can see a doctor to see options, nothing has changed, like you said, between us..."

I'm trying to reason with him I can't have a child with my abuser. That's insane.

"A doctor???" He looks angry

Oh no here we go

"You're not getting rid of MY baby. We both wanted to have sex now we deal with the consequence and everything that comes with it."

In disbelief I say "We cannot have a child together Nate you hate me more than anyone on this planet and I am basically your slave... this will never work! How will we add a child to this mess!"

He holds me in place and and kisses me, I kiss him back instantly.

"It'll work" he says while pressing his forehead against mine

"We will make it work, but we do have to see a doctor to make sure the baby is ok"

I never thought I'd be in this position, having a child with this lunatic, but now I clearly see I am just as loony as him.

"Nate we need to talk about our situation and your anger... I don't want to live in fear everyday of my life.. I don't want him or her to live in fear either"

He thinks over my words carefully

"I'll give you the option to back out.. you don't have to change anything about your life for us"

"I've wanted a change in my life for a long time, and then you came into it. I saw you that night and was almost thrilled it was you and not anyone else, you're not exactly what I thought you were gonna be. You're sweet and shy but most all very forgiving. It drove me crazy, it filled me with rage that someone so pure would put up with so many of my outbursts. For some reason I felt so possessive, in a way I've never experienced before. I needed you in my life I had to find a way to keep you close but I couldn't figure out why. I had to force you to stay to try to understand, your presence alone makes me so confused and angry I thought maybe if I had you I'd be able to let you go, it did the opposite. I have to have you by my side I don't want to let you go now more than ever. This is the change I've been looking for. You are everything to me, I want this child and you in my life until I take my very last breath. I was scared to fall in love with you, but it's too late now"

His words shocked me to my core.. this whole time I thought he hated me.. he hated that he loved me?

"I want to be with you always too"

I kissed him softly

"But not as your slave Nate..."

"Don't say that." He grabs my jaw

"You will be my wife and I will learn to love you the way your deserve" he softens his touch

He kisses me with so much intensity I almost pass out.

It sounds insane to give us an actual chance, but for him I'm willing to try.

For all three of us, now.

Whatever troubles lie ahead will be easy compared to everything we've been through.

Love makes you do crazy things and I am undeniably without a doubt already there, for him.