Quest for the Eighty-Eight Keys

Chapter Eleven: What's the Point?

WARNING: MENTIONS OF TORTURE AND SELF-HARM! A PANIC ATTACK!

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Lucy walked along the river of Blume Town, making her way to the town's magic shop alone. It had taken a week for her, Freed, and Rufus to arrive at the town due to the large distance and their train breaking down along the way. It was Freed who found out there were a few keys in the magic shop.

Lucy knew that Freed and Rufus would want to accompany her, but she managed to sneak out while the two men were asleep. It wasn't that she didn't like their company, but more so because she wanted to be alone. The blonde woman looked to the river beside her, catching sight of several fish that swam along with the quick water.

The sight caused her to think of Natsu and Happy, their love of fish popping into her mind. She had once been comforted by the presence of objects or creatures that reminded her of her closest friends, always bringing a smile to her face as she entertained many pleasant memories.

However, this time, she didn't smile. She didn't remember any pleasant memories. Instead, she thought only of the times that she fooled her friends, her closest friends, into believing that she was happy. It made her feel bad, guilty even. All the times she had helped her friends through their own problems and lows. She had no problem with being there for them, but she was unable to let them be there for her. She knew that if she asked for help and explained what had happened, then they would do all they could to help her. And yet, she couldn't do that.

Maybe it was because she deserved to feel like this. She had broken Aquarius' key! She destroyed one of the only things she had left of her mother! What would her mother say? Aquarius was an important friend to her mother, and yet, she destroyed the celestial spirit's key! But, she did it to save her friends, and Aquarius had urged her to do it. So, why was she feeling terrible about it? Why was she being hard on herself for it?

Lucy rubbed her bandaged fingers against the scars on her wrists. She was almost itching to create more. She furrowed her brow at this. How could she let herself get to this point? She pulled her sleeves over her hands and balled the ends in her fingers. She had to have Virgo get an entirely new wardrobe for her, clothes that would cover her scarred skin. She was dressed in black jeans and a blue turtleneck.

As she neared the magic shop, her mind wandered to the source of these additional scars. She mentally scoffed at herself. She had thought that she was finally getting stronger, but turns out she was wrong. She hadn't been able to fight the mages that had captured them. No matter how hard she tried, she was always overpowered. She wasn't even able to stop Nyx from taking her keys when he forced her to open her inventory to him after her back had been whipped.

She mentally cursed at herself. She shouldn't have lived. Yukino, Hisui, and even Sorano were more deserving of living than she was. The inhabitants of the Celestial Spirit World would be better off with a more competent wizard. Why did she agree to take on this mission? She couldn't do this!

Lucy was suddenly bumped into by a man who walked past her, causing her to stumble and fall to her hands and knees, a sharp pain shooting through her knees. She pushed off of her hands and sat on her knees before looking back to see an old man glaring back at her. The man sneered, "watch where you're going, girl!"

Lucy looked down at the ground, muttering, "sorry." She then got back to her feet before she rushed off to the magic shop, trying to keep her mind on the keys that she had to collect and not on more troubling thoughts.

Lucy looked over the shelves of the magic items that were in the large magic shop. She had been searching for Celestial Spirit Gate Keys for several minutes. After much searching, she finally found three silver keys that rested upon a long, small pillow. The corner of her mouth twitched up at the sight of the keys. She picked them up and looked over them. Just as she was about to take them to the shopkeeper, she was stopped by a familiar voice, "I didn't expect you to be here."