But now I sleep alone

Chapter 1

I've just received an email off a guy in the States who wants me to produce his bands new album. He said they'll be touring over here in a couple of weeks and they've got all the recording done, they just need it fine tuning, so could they work with me for a week before tour and two weeks after. Why not.
Things have been pretty busy here over the last couple of years, ever since Bring me the Horizon asked me to work with them. The album went platinum, becoming their best selling record so far and after that I was getting requests off so many bands, I actually had to start turning some down until I got help. I've extended the studio and it's now twice the size it was, so I don't have to turn anyone away now. James is my saviour, my second in command. The one who keeps my mind on the job when I feel like I'm losing control. Which sadly is more often than I'd like.
My mam goes to daycare now while I work. It means she gets out and about more than she did and has a carer at all times, which I was struggling with. Juggling the studio and caring for her was nearly killing me and it wasn't fair on her. At least this way, I can concentrate on working and keeping the business my dad worked so hard to build up from scratch from going under. I think he'd be proud of how I'm doing. Its hard at times though, especially when I think of what I gave up. The only man I've ever loved. I didn't have much choice. When my dad passed away, I knew my mam wouldn't be able to cope so I gave up my happiness for her welfare. That was the right thing to do my head was saying but my heart was pining for him so much it hurt. It brought a darker side in me and I hardened my heart so I could never feel pain like that again. Now some people call me a hard faced bitch. I'm not. I'm just too scared to ever fall in love again.