But now I sleep alone

Chapter 4

I was asleep when we pulled up. I don't sleep so well at night anymore. Not since Charlie. I undo my seatbelt, climb out of the car without really looking around me and walk straight into the guesthouse, finding the first bedroom and collapsing on the bed.
"Tone, are you coming to look around the place?" I hear Vic call.
"Not right now" I mumble, just wanting to lie here and sleep. I hear him sigh and walk away. I was introduced to Vic the first Christmas after Charlie and I don't think he's ever known me to be truly happy. He knows what happened with her and how badly it all affected me but when I'm on stage, I'm a different guy so the fans don't see the pain beneath. Mike and Jaime obviously knew Charlie anyway and they both agree with me - what she did was the right thing, but I miss her so damn much.
My eyes close and once again she invades my dreams. I dream of the night we made love in the sea and it was more vivid than ever. As if it was just yesterday, not all those years ago. I wake up abruptly and see the affect it had on me. It's just like all those years ago and I find myself smiling at the memory. The first genuine smile to reach my face in years. I lie there thinking about her for a few more moments before I check my phone. It's 5pm now. I hate the fact it's only 9am back home and I feel like it's the middle of the night. I should be used to it with all the travelling but I'm not. I hear the guys voices in the other room so I head in there to see why they're being so loud. I don't know anything about who we are going to be working with so I kind of want to find out. I've heard from the BMTH guys that whoever it is has an amazing reputation for their work so I'm excited to work with someone with that behind them. We've been lucky that everyone we've worked with over the years has been good so I can't complain though.
I walk in there and find the guys tucking in to huge bowls of something that smells amazing. The fire has been lit and is chucking out a load of heat and I feel more relaxed than I have in a long time. I grab myself a bowl and help myself to what I'm told by the others is beef stew and dumplings, supplied by our host. I'm impressed and it makes me think once again about Charlie. How she told me her dad had the people he worked with stay in a guesthouse and looked after them. Is it a coincidence or just wishful thinking?