to see you smile - avatrice

chapter 5

Mary is the one who calls her. Beatrice has a lot of questions about how it was Mary that called and what exactly happened, but focusses on the essentials. Ava is not okay, she got a call from her mother, and she just kind of ran off. Beatrice is sure that Mary tried to explain what actually happened, but she stopped listening, swallowed the panic, and drove to the dog park. She finds her sitting on the grass, crying, looking at dogs. Beatrice sends a quick group message saying she’s found her and not to panic. Then she sits beside her, not saying anything, and waits for her to be ready to speak. When she rests her head against Beatrice's shoulder she shifts, wrapping an arm around Ava and she buries her face against the older woman and she struggles not to tense her arm, not to push, to just be her friend when she wants to fight the world for her.

“I knew you’d find me,” she says when she speaks. Beatrice presses her lips to the crown of Ava's head, just for a moment, and then she looks back at the park.

“What happened?” she asks. Ava sighs.

“My mom’s getting married and selling the house I grew up in,” Ava says. “It’s stupid. But it’s Dad’s birthday and she forgot and today’s the day she tells me.” It’s not something Beatrice understands, having a house that you grow up in. They’re just a montage of shitty places with mould and ratty carpet to her. But it’s not like that for Ava, and she knows how Ava feels about the way her mother’s erasure of her father.

“Well, that's shit,” Beatrice agrees. “But you scared the shit out of Mary.” Ava half sobs, half laughs.

“Oh god, Mary. We were having lunch and I bolted. Is she okay?” she asks. Beatrice nods.

“Yeah, I told them I found you,” Beatrice says. And then she has an idea. “But this whole dog park thing… wouldn’t it work better if you actually got to interact with a dog?” Ava looks at her like she’s a little crazy, but she pulls Ava up, and drags her along with her.

“Excuse me, hi, my friend is having a really, truly, awful day and would love to hug your dog,” Beatrice says to the first person they meet. It’s a mother with a small kid and some sort of spaniel, Beatrice thinks. She smiles sympathetically.

“Sure,” she says. “Tess here loves the attention.” Ava looks between the woman and Beatrice like they’re crazy, and then she looks at the dog, drops to her knees and hugs it for all she’s worth. Tess licks her face and Ava laughs as the owner scolds the dog, and she holds her for just a little longer before letting go.

“Thank you,” Ava says, standing back up, dusting the paw prints off her jeans. The woman smiles.

“Any time,” she says, and then continues on her walk. Ava beams at Beatrice, her eyes shining, possibly with tears, and she loops her arms around hers, hugging het tight and quick, but she holds Beatrice like air in her lungs, a slow release, and Beatrice's arms go around her almost automatically. She presses her nose to the crown of Ava's head.

“That was perfect,” Ava sighs into her chest, and then steps back, still smiling. And Beatrice knows with sudden clarity that she’s buying a fucking dog. Because she would do literally anything to see that look on her face on a regular basis.  She’s so done for.

•••••

It’s Sunday night, and someone’s (‘Michael, goddamnit!’) started Mary and Shannon off on some bizarre newspaper construction challenge (‘Of course Beatrice has stacks of newspaper just kicking around in her spare room’ ‘Hey! I like to stay informed’ ‘It’s called the internet, old woman’), and they’ve formed teams with Shannon and Mary against Ava and Yasmin, while Michael and Lilith referee. It’s not the normal after dinner activity, but it’s never a quiet movie like Beatrice plans it’s going to be. Her and Camila had retreated to the kitchen when it became clear they were going to have to pick a side if they stayed. And it feels like a good time to sound out her veterinarian friend on dog ownership.