EQUANIMITY - asoue reader insert/ x reader?

02

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beguile
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to charm or enchant (someone), sometimes in a deceptive way.

❝ i'm really really sorry about what happened to your parents, baudelaires. ❞

word count: 1274
written: july 18th, 2023
published: september, 2024
not edited.
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(y/n)'s pov.

help them? what am i? 5?? absolutely not. i'm not that stupid to go against olaf just because i wanna befriend these orphans..

but i really want to.
but i shouldn't! i mean yeah i want to go and conversate with them, and be friends with them, and maybe open up about the thing that's been eating me alive for 6 years.. oh who am i kidding. they'd never want to talk to me. i've really done nothing good to them, other than offer them my bathroom, shampoo and conditioner. maybe i should let them know i'm on their side.
maybe then i could talk to them about-

"CANDY!"
all of a sudden, this agitating voice called me downstairs.
"on my way."

as soon as i went downstairs, rice pilaf- i mean, count olaf began to lecture me about how i'm not to talk or socialize to the orphans:
unless i was tormenting them in some way.
a stupid idea, really. am i even going to listen to him? hell no.

halfway through his lecture, we heard the door knock. i took this as my opportunity to go upstairs and talk with the baudelaires.
i noticed that they weren't in their room, and instead were all in the bathroom.
olaf must've ordered them to clean while i was lost in my thoughts. what a prick.
i hesitantly knocked on the bathroom door.
"can i come in..?"

i heard some whispering behind the door, then the door slowly opened, revealing klaus giving me a 'what do you want?' look, as his sisters were on the other side of the bathroom scrubbing.

"hey."
"hey?"
he seemed confused, as he opened the door wider, and i walked in, and sat on the outside of the bathtub.

"i'm sorry-"
"thank you-"
violet and i spoke at the same time.
"sorry, you go first."
i said, gesturing my hand towards her, as a was of telling her to continue.

"right, thank you for offering your bathroom to us, we really appreciate it."
she gave me a half hearted smile, as klaus gave me a cautious face, and sunny just stared at me- as babies do.
"it was the least i could do, given the current circumstances. i actually came in here to apologize."

the three sibling glanced at each other, then looked back at me.
"i'm really really sorry about what happened to your parents, baudelaires. contrary to what you may think, this whole plan to take your fortunes was never something i wanted to do. i hope you don't mind me saying this, but i'm actually kinda glad that you three are here- not because of the fire of course, but i enjoy the extra company here. even if you guys don't think highly of me at the moment."

violets eyes softened at what i said, as klaus seemed to get a little less tense. sunny of course didn't really have an expression i could read, but i'm hoping that she believes me.
i sound ridiculous talking about a baby believing my story..

"is count olaf your father?"
"oh god no."
i started to gag at the question the middle child asked me.
"i would rather be stranded on an island than be his biological daughter. he kidnpped me when i was younger, after my house burned down with my parents and sibling in it. sorry- i didn't mean to randomly go into my life story but-"
i stopped. i suddenly stood up and started barking commands at them.

"jesus, can you guys clean any slower?? this is like a snails pace. i thought when you said you did chores at home that you actually knew how to clean something."
violet and klaus looked shoked and confused, since i was just telling them something deep about my personal life.

then the door opened.
it was count olaf.
he was holding a.. is that a fucking leg of lamb??

he smiled wickedly, im guessing he heard my shouting through the door, as he took a big bite of the food.
"you missed a spot."
olaf stood there for a few more seconds, enjoying his food, and then he left.

after a few more seconds, i peeked my head through the door. i heard him talking to someone through the door. i figured it ws only a minute or two until he came back up here.
after reaching that conclusion, i went back into the bathroom.

"i'm so so sorry, i heard his footsteps coming up the stairs, and it was the first thing that came to mind. he'll be back soon so just.. i don't know, keep cleaning?? i don't know how else to help right now, but i promise i'll try to help you some other way. maybe we can keep talking another day."
i quickly left the bathroom and went into my room- which wasn't far from their current "bedroom".

AUCIOAJFBKQLLFJWK.
i fell on my bed, and face planted into my pillow.

sorry, i'm just really upset that i literally can't even have a normal conversation with them.
i mean, i'm also really upset that i changed my mind about them in a few seconds. like what kind of weird fanfic is this? i'm helping with his (more like MY) evil plans, and the orphans come in the house and all of a sudden i'm on their side?? jesus, i'm so gullible. i need to remember to get my mood swings under control. it's getting out of hand.

well i mean think about it. if i end up helping them out of here, then i can help MYSELF with leaving this god forsaken dump of a house. i HATE the man that lives here with every fiber of my body. he took me away from my family.

but i mean he did give me a roof to stay under.

UGH, that is so not the point, dude.

i want to get out of this house. and i don't mean outside, i mean away. far FAR away from here.
i lifted my head from my pillow, and rolled over- so i was laying on my back instead of my stomach.

if the baudelaires leave, so could i.
that's not certain though.
but it's a likely possibility. whoever takes them could also take me.
you can't just live with a family you've never met before.
the baudelaires are doing it right now.
not willingly. you really need to think things out more.

what if i asked nicely? you know, to the people that take them in?
..my god, you're hopeless.

i have nothing else to do. i did my chores, and i'm just-
i'm tired.
it hasn't even been a full day, and i'm already over it. i'm exhausted over nothing.
maybe i should just.
take a small nap.
for a few minutes.
to get my thoughts together.
just a
small
cat
nap
.
.
.

i wonder what's for dinner.

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a/n
i feel like the ending was weird :(
i don't remember if the whole spaghetti dinner disaster was the same day as the bathroom cleaning scene, so i'm def going to rewatch that before i keep writing lol.
i feel so disappointed in myself because it's so short (imo) and i don't wanna give you guys a half assed chapter :((
next chapter will DEFINITELY be longer, and you guys can slap me if it's not at least 2000-2500 words.