Before there was you.

Chapter 9

Mason walks out of the shower wearing a pair of sweatpants my eyes travel along his torso and along his arms. I take in all his tattoos one of his arms is nearly covered I notice daggers a compass and a dragon, one catches my eye a bird with a quote I can't quiet read under it "what's the bird for?" I question, I notice he tenses up. He hesitates for a moment "my mom" he answers "oh, I'm sorry" I apologise he shrugs "it's fine" he changes the subject "I'll sleep in the spare bedroom you can sleep here".

"We could both just sleep here" the words come out before my brain can process. "Are you sure?" He questions "yeah, the bed should be big enough" i joke looking across at the king sized bed, Mason chuckles. "Okay, no funny stuff" he jokes back and winks at me and flicks off the lights before climbing in bed next to me.

I climb under the blankets and turn on my side facing Mason, "I don't think we can be friends Alana" Mason speaks "what?" I mumbled.

"We say we are friends but then we end up making out or I end up hitting people for touching you" he finishes and I feel my heart in my throat. Mason continues "I think after tonight we should stop hanging around each other" I feel sick, I knew something like this would happen.

"Okay" Is all I can manage to say, Mason moves closer and wraps me in his arms. "Mason what..." he cuts me off before I can finish. "Tonight we don't have to worry about everything else" he tells me and I nod I sink into his arms and he kisses the top of my head. "Goodnight Lana" Mason whispers "goodnight Mason.

"Morning" Mason greets as I roll over in the bed and see him standing above me with a mug. The smell of coffee hits my nose, "I made you coffee" I take the coffee from his hands and take a sip "thank you".

He sits on the bed not saying anything and the tension in the room is nearly unbearable. After what feels like forever he clears his throat and speaks "do you want me to take you home?" He questions "uh.. yeah" I reply not knowing what else to say, he walks out of the room and comes back in.

"I washed them for you" he hands me my clothes neatly folded, I collect the clothes and head into the bathroom to get changed.

Walking back to the bedroom Mason has made the bed but isn't in the room, I walk to the kitchen and find Mason typing on his laptop. He looks up and his eyes travel up and down my body, "ready?" He asks "yeah" I reply.

We slide into the car and Mason speeds down the wet streets, "I'm sorry about last night" he finally speaks "it's fine I understand" I lie. "I can't just be friends with you Alana that's why I need to distance myself" he admits.

"Maybe we don't have to just be friends" I suggest I don't really know what I'm suggesting because I don't know if it would be a good idea to be with Mason but we could try it. "I can't be in a relationship Alana, if that's what you're implying" he explains.

"Why not?" I question "It's just not a good idea for someone like me" he shrugs, "how do you know that?" I ask "I just do" he answers coldly.

"So you're just going to be alone forever?"
"yes".

"You do know that's very unlikely to happen" i inform him and he chuckle "my forever isn't the same as everyone else's" he shrugs. "What's that supposed to mean?" I mumble, he shrugs again but doesn't reply. "Mason" I say frustrated, he pulls the car over on the side of the road "what are we doing?" I ask.

"Come with me I want to show you something" he says getting out of the car. It only just hit me we have been driving in the opposite direction of campus.

Climbing out of the car we start to walk down a dirt path, the place is surrounded in trees that have fresh rain dripping from the leaves. The clouds still loom above us but the rain has subsided. The birds chirp and I hear a few frogs croaking, the forest is peaceful and there isn't a person in sight.

We walk up the rocky path and Mason moves a few branches out of my way, after fifteen minutes of walking in completely silence other than the sounds of the forest. We arrive to a huge waterfall that runs down the mountains, the jagged rocks create smaller waterfalls and the sound of the water hitting the rocks is loud but peaceful I feel my mouth drop open.

"How did you find this place?" I say in awe to Mason. "When my mom died I ran and kept running I let my feet lead me I kind of just stumbled upon it, it's my favourite place now, reminds me of her sort of like she wanted me to find it".

"Thank you for showing me" I tell him, "how did she die?" I ask cautiously not sure if I should ask. He hesitates for a moment "I came home on my seventh birthday, I found her hanging from the back porch" he mumbles the words and I feel pain in my heart for him. "Mason I'm so sorry I can't imagine how hard that would have been" I can't believe he has had to go through so much I couldn't imagine losing 
my mom.

Mason smiles half heartedly at me and takes a seat on a fallen log I sit down next to him. I lean my head on his shoulder "I'm here if you ever want someone to talk to about it, friend or not I'm here" I tell him.

"Thank you Lana, I'm always here for you too, have you talked to your mother since our last talk?" He asks changing the subject.

"Yeah I called her, she wants to invite my dad to graduation" i answer honestly. "Are you going to let him come?" He questions "it feels like I don't have a choice" I tell him.

He looks down at me on his shoulder, I look up at him into his piercing green eyes, "you never have to do anything you don't want to, even if he is your father you owe him nothing, but sometimes not forgiving someone eats you alive" he tells me as if he's had experience in it.

"Is that what happened with you?" I ask, he nods "yeah my father beat my mother and I in the end I resented her for not leaving him, when she died I hated myself for not forgiving her, I ended up doing some bad shit because my anger and hate for my father grew" he hesitates before continuing "i hated him because it felt like his fault my mom killed herself and it felt like my fault as well because I was the only person she had and I was never around" he finishes.

"It wasn't your fault Mason" I reassure him "your father seems like a nasty person and you and your mother didn't deserve what he did" I tell him.

"She would have loved you Alana" he tells me, I smile at him "I would have loved to had met her" I tell him. Mason wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him, I lean into him and the smell of his musky cologne fills my nose.

We sit in comfortable silence wrapped in each other's arms for a while listening to the soft cries of the forrest around us.  I begin to lose track of time. "We should go" Mason says breaking the silence, I wish I could stay here forever but I know we should leave I have finals in three days and I need to study for them. He gets up and helps me up we walk back to the car hand in hand.

we drive back towards the dorm we arrive and before I open the door Mason grabs my hand "please don't tell anyone what we talked about" he pleads. "Of course I won't" I assure him, he leans across the seat and kisses my forehead before placing his forehead on mine.

I never want this moment to end, but it does he leans back and I take in a breath and open the door "bye mason".