I haven't had much love in my life that much is certain,
I've had people steal from me,
Lie to me,
I've had people do things to me that sometimes I can't even use words to describe to others because it hurts too much to say it.
It feels like blade on my tongue,
daring to silence me forever if I speak out.
Afraid of losing that last bit of love that keeps my heart beating,
The heartbeat might be weak but it is proof I might have a chance at surviving this.
I'm sorry for feeling pain,
I'm sorry that my tears are put before your goals,
They pour and cause a flood ruining everything you ever worked for,
But the only time you ever notice me crying is when something of yours is destroyed and my tears become an inconvenience to you.
So I'm sorry for crying,
I can't control it,
I swear I don't mean it.
I know that I'm not meant to feel dirty,
But I still want to take a fucking shower,
I'm covered in dirt and in blood,
I want to be clean,
The people who did this to me are nowhere to be seen,
The people who watched it happened have left the scene,
None of them loved me after it was all over.
And since all of the bridges of the one to blame have been burned,
A medal of shame and dishonor I've earned.
I watched the same guy who hurt me and hid me under the covers,
Say he loves my father and mother.
And since he is not here in court,
I'm guilty,
It's not like anyone here would care,
Grandma knew he was there,
Dad knew too,
He didn't care.
And if the people who are supposed to love me don't,
Who will?
A/N: Hello, thank you for reading! Don't be shy, PLEASE let me know if I need to add anymore trigger warnings! As I want everyone to be safe! Also it would be greatly appreciated if you leave a vote before you go! Thank you!!!!
-Ollie
YOU ARE READING
Poems at 3am
PoetrySo, I write a lot of poems some (a lot of them) of them may be triggering due to the fact a lot of them talk about my trauma, mental illness,and bad experiences, I'll include trigger warnings dw! Others of them are either reflections, nonbinary rant...
