I often wonder if the renters kept the house,
I wonder if the carpet is the same,
Wonder if they kept the doors,
Did they change the faded paint on the walls?
I wonder if they see the secrets locked within every fiber,
Every piece of fabric,
Every shame filled story I held in myself like a box of tightly wounded yarn waiting to fall away from me and unwind themselves.
I wonder if the renters even look at the carpet,
The one I took my first steps on,
I wonder if they even see the print of two children by one of those doors,
One of the doors on the second floor,
If they see the blood painting the bridge between the hallway and bedroom floor,
If they even know what it means,
These secrets that keep me awake at night,
Two of many.
I wonder if they see the trail of tears leading from that door to another door,
This time on the first floor.
If on the wood they can see the imprint of toys sprawled across it,
If they could see the tears fall out of the vision of a bed like a waterfall,
If they can ever know what I felt after that,
Do they even know what led to it?
I wonder if they walk into the room next to the blood stained doorway,
Back upstairs,
Do they see claw marks on the lilac carpet,
Two children once again,
Although there's one that's different,
Can they hear the oldest girl crying?
Can they hear her?
Can they hear me?
I wonder if they see the footprints trailing from the living room to that room covered with blood,
As if that room hadn't seen enough,
Do they see claw marks on the door?
Do they hear the cries of a little girl?
"Please,
I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to..."
Can they hear her?
Can they..?
I often ask these stupid questions to myself,
But then they answer themselves,
No,
Of course they don't,
Because they didn't live it,
And I didn't tell,
After all,
They were secret,
A secret I suffer with under my skin.
A/N: Hey! I know I'm probably gonna write about this a lot but, hang in there with me! This is not the only thing I write about, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. And now I bit thee a due!
~Ollie
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Poems at 3am
PoetrySo, I write a lot of poems some (a lot of them) of them may be triggering due to the fact a lot of them talk about my trauma, mental illness,and bad experiences, I'll include trigger warnings dw! Others of them are either reflections, nonbinary rant...
