SSA Aaron Hotchner is stepping down from his Unit Chief position for a 6-month period due to an assignment in overseas. To his temporary replacement comes SSA Alexandra Barnes, Chief of the Child Abductions Unit. Both Hotchner and Barnes have their...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
~~~
No calls or texts after that night. It's been almost two weeks and I haven't seen or talked to him since. If he doesn't want to anything to do with me anymore, I won't pressure him.
I know how it goes, I've been through this before, so I'll probably make it. I just don't remember it hurting so much... I'm broken all over again and somehow, I still love him and I hate myself for it.
But I don't need him. I don't need anyone. I have no trust left. Real trust doesn't exist. So, I'm choosing myself. I am choosing to heal me, alone. I don't fucking care about anyone else's feelings.
His POV I'm an asshole. I was pissed with a recent case and it just came out on her. I never bring work problems at home, but I didn't even realize it until it was too late.
Maybe she needed some tough love, but this was the worst thing I could have done. I knew my words would hurt her, and I still did it.
She's a wreck. I steal glimpses of her every day in the office, and I can tell how exhausted she is. She is putting on an act for everyone around but I can see through it. I hate myself so much.
For God's sake, I analyze human behavior but when it comes to her, I am blind. She was doing so well all this long, she was opening up and slowly bringing her walls down.
That night, when she snapped at me for thinking about kids -for thinking that I don't respect her decisions- I snapped too. It all went south after that.
And the more times I replay that whole argument in my head, the more I realize how much damage I must have done. Because I wasn't thinking about what I was saying.
She probably hates me right now. I would hate me and avoid any kind of interaction. And that's exactly what she's doing.
Dave said that I should go and apologize which I thought about, but it probably will do more harm than good if she doesn't want to see me.
"How are you a profiler and at the same time, you can't see what's in front of you? She was still healing from a past she didn't deserve and you knew that. So, being the first guy to treat her right includes fear. She wasn't going to flip a switch" he said and I can't say I disagree.
Now, I completely broke her trust and I don't know how I'm going to fix this. Is it even fixable? Or can't she trust anyone anymore?
Her POV "You called me?" I ask as I enter Strauss office
"Yes. Is your team ready to leave in 30 minutes for Montana?" she asks
"Most of the team is already on a case in Nevada. Only Agent Winston and I are back because we have to take care of three consults that were requested by other departments. I think one of them is from Montana"
"Yes, I believe Agent Jareau forwarded to you"
"I think so yes. Agent Winston and I were just having a look at it"
