A couple of weeks passed and Jac saw less of Fletch than usual. She bumped into him on the ward occasionally, and they would sometimes see each other at the creche at the end of a shift, but they had barely said a word to each other since that day in her office.
She had to wonder whether that moment, the moment that had been replaying in her head every spare second she had, had been the same for him as it had for her.
It was a horrible day today and all she wanted was for him to come to her office and ask her if she was okay and annoy her with reassurance and to tell her that she needed to look after herself. She missed the overbearing and frustrating presence he had.
She had lost one of her long-term patients, one of the few that actually managed to not get on her nerves, and it had really set the tone for the rest of the time. She had been at odds with Serena all day arguing about time management, and she had just received a phone call from the creche saying that Emma had been involved in some sort of an altercation with one of the other children and she was needed down there.
Ignoring the pounding headache she had, she made her way downstairs to the creche.
She smoothed down her scrubs before stepping inside and almost being bowled over by her daughter running across the room and wrapping herself tightly around Jac's legs. Jac outstretched her arms and pulled the toddler up to sit on her hip as she walked over to Alison, the first adult she recognised.
"Jac, I'm glad you're here!" Alison exclaimed genuinely, before glancing towards Emma with a wince. "Why don't we talk in my office?"
Jac let Emma down and told her to go and play with her friends for a little while. Emma skulked off sadly, but did as she was told all the same. It was only once Jac stepped inside of the office and saw Fletch sat there that she started to worry.
Concerned as she was, she took the seat beside him silently and waited to hear what Alison had to say. They knew by now not to waste her time with petty squabbles if they could help it.
"It appears that Emma hit Theo today, and while both parties are entirely fine, we thought this should be brought to your attention since the two are usually quite inseparable."
Jac allowed her eyes to fall shut as she processed, wondering what on Earth had happened in the world of toddlers that had ensured her day become even worse. Turning her head, she looked at Fletch and saw the concern that settled on his face.
"Do we know why?" Fletch questioned.
"Something to do with you, Fletch, deserving better than Jac..." Alison began. "Now I know it's none of my business, but if the dynamics at home are changing, that can be unsettling for children as young as Emma and Theo. Is there anything that might have triggered this?"
"Like what? You don't' mean...No!" Jac snapped as she realised what Alison was implying. In her mind, she was thinking, at least if it were true, she would be getting something out of it but on the outside, she appeared suitably enraged. "I'm sure this is just children being children. We'll each speak to our kids privately and that will the end of it, clear?"
Alison nodded timidly. Jac stood and left the office, making a beeline for Emma. The girl was clearly aware that her mother had been told what was happened, she had her lips pursed shyly and made no move to try and hug her mother this time around.
"You don't hit people, not unless they hit you first. We'll talk about this at home, Emma, understand me?" Jac stated firmly, receiving a shy nod from her daughter. "Apologise to Theo and have a good afternoon, Mummy'll see you later."
She crossed to the door and made her way to the lift, unenthused at the thought of four flights of stairs.
"Hold it!" A familiar voice called as she pressed the button for floor six, she nonchalantly put the toe of her shoe in the door to stop it from closing and rolled her eyes as Fletch sprinted into the lift. "Cheers."
Silently, she stepped back and waited for the doors to shut. He tapped his foot against the ground impatiently and she hated this, whatever it was between them that meant he felt so awkward around her. All she wanted right now was for him to make a snide comment about how much Emma reminded him of her mother.
She bit her lip, wondering if she should say something.
"So, I heard about Kenny Reddington. That's awful news. How did the family take it?" Fletch opened, filling the awkwardness with his casual conversation almost skilfully.
"Pretty okay. Upset, of course, but they had so much longer with him than they ever expected to. I gave them the grief counsellor's details, just in case, but I think they'll be fine," Jac answered and it was the most honest Fletch had seen her since that evening with the record.
He turned to offer her a gentle smile, knew somewhere deep inside himself that she needed it. Even if he was pretending that they were mere colleagues who barely knew each other, his heart couldn't pretend not to hear the way her voice was clipped at the end, the way it always did when she was trying to sound perfectly okay.
The lift arrived and she stepped out without another word to get on with her day.
Fletch watched after her and wondered if she had even noticed his absence from her life. He had tried to keep her close, but after that moment, he needed a while to himself. He was running out of excuses to see her anyway.
He would keep her at arm's length, always ready to step right back up if she needed him to. He just had to hope she found reason.
