Jonny called unexpectedly on a Thursday evening, just as their meals arrive. Fletch told her to take it, just in case it was something important.
"Hey Jonny, what is it?" she greeted abruptly, willing him to talk quickly.
"Are you busy? I don't want to interrupt your evening," he replied, clearing his throat.
"I'm at dinner with Fletch. Just get to the point so I can eat, please."
"Oh, maybe I should just talk to you next time I see you. You're obviously in the middle of something."
"Jonny, just tell me what it is so that we can both get on with our lives!" she exclaimed, already losing her patience with him.
"Well basically, I'm planning to drive up to my parents' this week, leave tomorrow afternoon and come back on Wednesday. I was wondering if you'd mind Emma coming with me, they haven't seen her in months and I'm sure she'd enjoy seeing her cousins while we're there. Of course, if you had plans or anything then I could try and reschedule but-"
"That's fine, Jonny. Just text me and tell me what to pack for her and you can collect her from the creche as usual," she assured on auto-pilot, eager to get off the phone.
"Oh, well...okay then, I'll text you," he finished uncertainly, hanging up the call.
She rolled her eyes and put the phone face down on the table, returning her attention to her food and digging in. Fletch was looking at her expectantly but right now she didn't want to talk about Jonny, he was the last person on the planet that she wanted to think about when she was actually in a good mood.
Not until they were leaving the restaurant did she tell him the details of their phone conversation.
"You said yes?" He questioned, rather surprised that she had agreed when she was normally so particular about Emma's schedule.
"I did," Jac confirmed, and she wasn't sure in her brain why she had done it. Maybe it was because she had a busy week ahead of her and she would've barely seen Emma in the three additional days anyway, or maybe it was because she'd been challenging herself to trust the people she loved not to desert her.
In the dim light of the evening streets, she linked her arm through Fletch's and told herself that it wasn't forever, it wasn't even for a full week. At the end of it, Emma would return home to her as if she never left and things would be perfectly fine.
"I should probably stay at home tonight, I'm gonna have to pack a bag for her and there's just a few bits I'll have to sort out before tomorrow," she explained, stopping as they got to her car and getting into the driver's seat.
"Yeah, of course," Fletch responded as she dropped into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut.
The journey to Fletch's was quick and quiet, Jac was trying to conceal the fact that she was anxious about her decision and simply remained silent the entire way there. She was in and out of the house in only a couple of minutes, kissing Fletch goodnight at his front door and heading back to the car.
She threw appropriate clothes into a bag for Emma haphazardly, climbing into bed and falling asleep almost immediately. When she woke the next morning, she told Emma at breakfast that she was going to see Nanny and Grandpa.
"Are you coming, Mummy?" Emma asked as she took a bite of her toast.
"No, baby. You're going with Daddy and Lydia," Jac explained, taking a swig of coffee and hoping that she can get through the day without any hiccoughs.
Dropping Emma off at the creche on Friday morning, she hugged her daughter a little longer than usual before letting her run off to play with her friends.
It felt infantile to be so anxious about Emma going away for a few nights with her father, and yet here she was, worrying that something would happen and she might never seen her little girl again. All of the psychoanalysis she'd been through had made her hyperaware of what she was thinking and it was making things harder in the short term.
She got through the morning easily, pretended it was a normal day and wondered if she'd be able to keep it up, until Sunday at least.
"Surgery in fifteen minutes, Naylor," Frieda reminded her sharply. "Don't be late."
She forced herself through the rest of the day, and passed by Fletch's office on her way to therapy.
"Hey, you okay?" Fletch greeted with a smile as she stepped inside. "Emma get off okay?"
"I guess so, Jonny hasn't text to say anything went wrong," she answered, "I really don't feel like therapy today. My dream evening would be to curl up in bed and be spoon fed ice-cream until the brain freeze makes me forget that my daughter is in another country without me."
"Okay, first of all, Scotland barely counts as another country anyway. Go to therapy and talk this through because you know it's exactly why you need to go, and then you can come over and I will feed you ice cream," he bartered carefully, "I'll even stop on my way and get some mint choc chip."
Glaring at him moodily, Jac nodded briskly before leaving the office and heading for the lift.
She raked herself through an hour of talking before finally making her escape and heading her car, driving to Fletch's with thoughts of mint ice cream and an early night on her mind.
Sure enough, Fletch was on hand with a spoon and a tub as soon as Jac knocked on the door and Mikey let her in. He was considerate, and he let her curl up in bed with it and watch nature documentaries until she was tired, then he held her as she slept, knowing that tomorrow, things would be a little easier.
