Shades Of Lust

Chapter 8 | Collide

Jungkook

Something was wrong, I could feel it. Despite everything going well there was this constant nagging that would not let me sleep at night. A thought would always swirl in my mind 'Everything is too good to be true'. I hated this feeling, being paranoid because of the joy. As if it was just temporary and soon everything would collapse right in front of my eyes and I would not be able to do anything to prevent it. Our every action has consequences, no matter how much we try we cannot prevent every little consequence which could affect our lives.

I couldn't breathe. The tall building above me towered over my small form making me nervous again. I was in haste. Blinking away my nervousness I stepped in with my shaking legs and hazy mind.

As I stood in front of the mirror to get ready for my first day in the morning I couldn't help but question myself if this is what I 'wanted' and the answer came quickly. No, I do not want this. The same answer I get every time but I always bury it somewhere in my mind. It never actually mattered what I wanted. I'd always been doing what I had to do to live and this was just like that even if my heart never approved of it. Because people like me never get to choose in life.

My second visit in this office had been so different from the first one but I'd been nervous in both scenarios. It was a great opportunity but deep down the urge to earn money was snatching away my peace.

I once again looked down on my shoes, I'd spent hours polishing them, bringing my palms to smoothen any creas from my shirt and lastly tugging the tie gently which was suffocating my throat.

Who the fuck even invented this piece of a cloth?

Taking a deep breath I looked around, of all people I was the only one standing still in one place. As if everyone one besides me knew what they were doing and were moving forward in their life and I had been just stuck in one place. My legs felt heavy, and I am suddenly scared of the change in my life.

Licking my lips I watched the people until my eyes fell on the receptionist, sitting behind a desk, smiling at every passing person that greeted her.

Closing my eyes for a second I finally decided to walk towards her. Suddenly there was a push behind me "If you don't want to go in don't just stand in the way like an idiot" someone had said but before I could turn towards the rude manly voice the person was gone. Muttering a 'sorry' to noone I hesitantly walked towards the receptionist. She looked like every typical receptionist with red lips and a smile which I was sure was fake .

Had I not been watching too many kdramas lately with Jimin maybe I wouldn't have judged her. A very typical thing to do.

With hesitant steps I stopped in front of her desk while she was busy typing something without noticing my presence. "Excuse me" I tried not to sound panicked like a lost child. The interview room was not difficult to find but now that today I was here as an employee my anxiety was rising. First impression is the last impression and I was already doing a bad job as a Personal Assistant. Every cell in my body was telling me I was not going to last here.

When she looked up with a frown she immediately covered it with a smile "How can I help you sir"? she politely asked. I felt this weird sensation on my stomach as to how I should say my next words. It's sickening how badly I wanted to run away from everything. But then again where would I even go?

Pushing away the nervousness I stretched my lips into a thin smile before bowing to her. "My name is Jeon Jungkook" I said as she nodded and waited for my next words "the new Personal Secretary" of whom I still had no idea. It could be the Managing director or someone else, my role might not be that important.