Farah Dowling WRITOBER 2O22

We see what we want [WE SEE WHAT WE WANT #4]

 "Enter" said miss Dowling's voice.

You opened the glass door with no small amount of trepidation.

The room was lit only by the usual soft warm lights, and the Headmistress was sitting behind her desk, a high neck shirt in a dark blue complimenting the reflections of the lights on her hair.

You didn't know what you felt. Excited, yes; but also afraid – of being disappointed, of seeing indifference in her eyes. You were trembling, that much was sure.

"Good evening, Headmistress" you said, almost grimacing when you heard how much your voice shook.

"Don't stand in the doorway" said miss Dowling, not letting anything on. "Let yourself in."

You closed the door and took a few steps forward, covertly watching her.

She hadn't moved.

"To help you build solid mind defenses" she started in her best lecturing tone, not looking at you, "we need to simulate something similar to the situations which have caused you to let your thought leak and model light. Having strong mental walls is a useful, if seldom-taught to non-mind fairy, skill. Once you master it, you should be able to avoid unadvertedly projecting your thoughts in the world as well as to protect yourself from any fairy who attempts to take information from you."

"You said simulate something similar" you said, pausing to find the best way to formulate the question. "What... how do you propose to do that?"

"I will be inside your mind, trying to extract thoughts" she answered. "You shall focus on your breathing and on any detail in this room that can anchor you to reality. Remember: your goal right now is not to keep me outside but to stop thoughts from leaving the corners of your mind. Understood?"

"I... yes, Headmistress."

You didn't like the idea of her being inside your mind, but you supposed at this point she couldn't see anything worst than what she had already seen.

"Very well" she said.

You glanced at her, and now she was staring directly at you, a small smile on her lips.

Before you could so much as blink you felt her presence inside your mind. You had expected it to be uncomfortable, but in truth she felt like a warm blanket. You couldn't look away from her, and a moment later you started feeling the emotions you had felt during the last hours through your thoughts. Miss Dowling's eyes narrowed, as bright as moonlight, and you were seeing disconnected images of the last few days – laughing with your friends, doing your homework in your room, preparing tea before the end of your assistant workday, watching her as she drank it, her face peaceful and your heart speeding up, the attraction to her making your thoughts go straight into a daydream.

She abruptly recoiled from your mind, her eyes back to normal. "Close your eyes" she said, her voice hoarse but kind. "And concentrate on your breathing. Count your breaths. Rid yourself of your emotions as best you can. Visualize a mind palace with strong walls. When you're ready, I'll try again."

When you were as ready as you felt you could be you nodded.

You felt her presence again, and for a few moments nothing happened. You opened your eyes, excited, but seeing her provoked a movement in your soul. You immediately tried to tamp down the emotion, but the Headmistress was too quick for you, and soon memories with the same emotional color were rushing through your mind. In a desperate attempt you closed your eyes again and, after a while, the memories stopped.

"You allowed me to get too far, but you had the general idea. It was an... adequate attempt" she stated, smiling.

"Can we do it again?"