Farah Dowling WRITOBER 2O22

Find what you love and let it kill you [THE GIFT #1]

References to noncon/magical mind manipulation on Reader (not at Farah's hand).
Please read with caution if that's a trigger for you.

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You were dressed only in an flimsy, diaphanous dress, which did nothing to hide your body or the silver tattoo that had been engraved on your skin – behind your ear, on your neck and down to your chest, where it curled around your breasts.
It pulsated along with your heartbeat, and Farah could see its power working on you in the subtle constant magical light that you had in your eyes.
“Will you do it, Headmistress?” you asked, your eyes searching for hers, your head falling backwards to offer your throat. “She said I was ready for my degree.”
“How did you survive?” Farah asked in a whisper. “I saw Rosalind’s spell hitting you. I saw you fall. I checked, there was no pulse-”
“It was a Sleeping Curse” you said in a husky voice, your hand traveling from your stomach to your neck, your fingers enticingly brushing against it as you watched the Headmistress, your eyes glossy with desire. “Ros told me she did it to keep me safe. As soon as the danger was over she brought me back to life.”
“Ros?” repeated Farah, horrified, taking a step backwards. Good gods, what had she done to you? Why did she send you back to Alfea now? And why you had said her name with that fond familiarity...?
When she pronounced Ros’ name out loud your tattoo and your eyes shone brighter, and suddenly Farah heard her old mentor’s voice speaking through your lips.
“I see you have found my present, Farah.”
“What have you done?” she whispered, aghast.
“I decided to send you a gift” Rosalind’s voice explained, amused. “She had such delectable desires about you in that bright mind of hers. And she was devastated at the mere idea of leaving Alfea. When during our last battle she protected you, she was thinking she’d have died rather than parting from you, did you know that? She’s such a talented young fairy… such a sweet little thing. I think you should reward her, don’t you? Give her what she wants. Graduation Day has come.”
You sank to your knees, spreading your legs on the office carpet and tilting your head back as much as you could. Farah knew Rosalind was controlling your actions – you had been such a private, quiet and proud young woman…
“And of course” Ros added, the ring of bemusement growing in her voice, “you can have some fun with her before cutting her throat.”
“Cutting her-? You! How could you- What did you tell her? You have messed with her mind, her magic, her memory!” Farah hissed.
“Not as much as you think” Rosalind replied as your right hand started to slide up on the inside of your thigh. “She worships the ground you walk on, Farah. I only taught her… some new skills. She will be delighted to show you, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy her enormously – I remember your tastes. Just make sure to kill her afterwards – you could choke her to death, she’d love that. She was supposed to graduate and leave Alfea, and she certainly earned it, don’t you think? So give her her degree and then kill her, as she desires. It means the universe to her.”
“Have you touched her?” Farah growled, her head spinning, unable to grasp the meaning of Rosalind's talk about killing you, confusedly trying to understand more.
“Of course I have. She’s rather tempting, isn’t she? And besides, she was adamant she wanted to become the best of the best for you, and she needed practice.”
“Practice-” Farah croaked.
Rosalind’s reply sounded concerned. “I never forced her. She asked. I told you she wanted to practice for you…”
“You- you manipulated her! Modified her memories, played with her mind!” Farah shouted.
“Don't worry, the unyielding love for you is all there. Even I couldn’t take that from her. She wouldn’t let me.”
Just as Rosalind said those words your hand reached your center and you started touching yourself. For an instant your voice was again your own, and you whispered “Headmistress…”
Farah felt her heart break.
“You see how sweet she is” added Rosalind. “You know, at the beginning I wanted to send her to kill you. But, seeing that I couldn’t eradicate her love for you, I thought this would be a much funnier solution.”
“You though it was amusing to send her to me begging to... what? Cut her throat?” Farah said between gritted teeth.
“She was so sad she had to skip her Graduation Day. And as I told you she had this sweet inner conflict about wanting to graduate and at the same time not wanting to leave you. And there was the matter of her feelings and her sexual desires for you to take into consideration. I think I killed three birds with one stone, actually.”
“By forcing me either to betray her trust and kill her or to hurt her with a rejection?”
“It’s alright, Farah. I have learned to survive in a world where Farah Dowling lost all affection for you and betrayed you. She will, too. And for a very brief period of time, if you have mercy on her and kill her.”
“You couldn’t just destroy me. You had to involve her. The most brave, the most innocent-”
“Oh, darling” chuckled Rosalind. “Don’t you think I know perfectly well that involving her was the best way to destroy you? Tsk, tsk, Farah. Your assistant? So cliched. The girl might not have realized, but I know you. I saw her memories. I saw how you looked at her. You used to look at me like that, a long time ago.”
“Before you betrayed us all, you mean. Before you showed your true colors.”
“Be that as it may,” murmured Rosalind, “your know my plans rarely fail. Have fun with her. You’ve deserved her.”
And with that the light from your tattoo faded and Farah knew Rosalind was gone. Only you remained, your eyes closed, still touching yourself.
What had Rosalind imprinted in your mind exactly? And how could she fix it, bring you back to the person you were, to the woman she had secretly loved for almost a year?
“My dear” she said as kindly as she could. “Stop. Please. Stop.”
You complied and opened your eyes, looking at her, confusion clear in your expression.
“Wasn’t I doing well? Wasn’t I good enough? Should I have gone f-?”
“You were perfect” Farah murmured, feeling tears threatening to fall from her eyes. “You have nothing to worry about.”
When you smiled the happiest smile she had ever seen on your face she almost cried out in anger and pain. She slowly knelt in front of you, her heart in her throat. “I thought you were dead” she murmured.
“I can be, if you think I’m ready” you said, offering her your neck again.
“No, my dear, stop that. You-”
She was interrupted by a knock on the glass door.
“Headmistress? Is everything alright? I heard voices.”
Your eyes widened. Farah answered: “Yes, something has… come up. Someone was, um, teleported here. But everything is under control.”
“Can I help you in any way?”
“No!” Farah replied quickly. “No. Do not come in! I fact, you may leave for today, Aisha. Thank you.”
“Okay.” The voice sounded doubtful, but there was no arguing. “Have a nice evening, Headmistress.”
Farah waited until she couldn’t hear Aisha’s steps anymore and then she turned her eyes again on you.
You were crying. “Who was that?” you asked.
“Just Aisha, my new assist-” began Farah before realizing what she what doing.
“You… replaced me” you said, tears running freely on your cheeks.
“No” she said, heartbroken, mentally flogging herself for not predicting your reaction. “No, my dear. Alfea will be your home for as long as you want. I simply needed an assistant – you see, I needed to work, it was the only way to survive losing you-”
“Does she pleases you more than I did? Because you need to know, I’m much better now. Ros taught me. I will satisfy you, I promise-”
“Satisfy?” repeated Farah, shocked. “What… what did Rosalind say I wanted from you?”
“You’re the Headmistress” you answered, surprised. “I’m your assistant. My body is yours to use as you wish, and when I am ready you will give me my degree and honor our bond by killing me. You won’t have to send me away to punish me, Headmistress, I swear I am worthy now. I practiced. I know I’ve been gone for a long time, but I always longed for you, even from afar. I crave to please you.”
Farah’s throat was terribly dry. “Rosalind told you you’re expected to have sex with me?”
“That is what an assistant does, right? And I want. I’ve missed it so much.”
The Headmistress’ heart constricted painfully. “My dear, we’ve never had sex. You were my student and my co-worker. I would have never done that, no matter my personal feelings. I’m so sorry, but Rosalind lied to you. She messed with your memories, she-”
“You don’t need to lie to me” you said in a sad, frustrated tone. “I understand. You have a new assistant, and you’re happy with her-”
“I am not happy with- I have never had sex with Aisha! That is not what an assistant is for! Listen to me very carefully,” she said, taking a deep breath and trying to regain her composure, “I am not lying to you. Rosalind magically altered your memories. You are confused, I need to read your mind and see what I can do to fix-”
“You don’t want me” you stated, as if you hadn’t heard a word she just said.
“My dear, no matter what I want, I won't ask anything from you. I’m just grateful you’re still alive.”
Farah wanted desperately to hug you, to hold you close and tell you that everything was going to be fine, but she knew that body contact was the last thing you needed right now.
“I understand” you said. “If I no longer please you I will bear my shame and leave Alfea. I will return to Rosalind.”
“What?” Farah gasped. “No, no. You don’t have to go back. Ever.”
“But you don’t want me or my body. I am not pleasing to you anymore. You won’t touch me, you won’t give me my degree and the honorable death.”
“That’s not-”
“So I should go away.”
Good gods, Farah hoped Rosalind would die a slow and painful death. Preferably soon, and by her hand. She was done with mercy.
“ Listen. You are- you are very attractive. You are very... pleasing to me” she said, her voice breaking. “And I don’t want to be parted from you.”
You smiled, hopeful. “So you will at least let me try to pleasure you, Headmistr-?”
“No” she replied quickly. “No, that’s not what I meant.”
“You don’t have to do anything” you insisted, taking her hands in yours. “You can watch me and decide, or I could give you what you want- you don’t have to touch me…”
Farah squeezed your hands once before snatching hers away in the kindest way she could.
“No. What I meant…” she said, her brain racing as she tried to decide what to tell you, “what I meant is that I don’t want you to leave my side. I don’t…”
An idea struck her. “I really don’t like that tattoo that Rosalind put on you.”
“Oh” you murmured, half sad and half relieved. If it was only the tattoo, surely…
“We will have to erase that. Once it’s removed, you will… um, be my assistant again.”
You smiled brightly. “You will allow me to please you again?” you asked.
Farah simply let out a non-committal sound. You interpreted it as a yes and you asked: “And I can stay with you always? Even... tonight?”
She hesitated, then she nodded. It wasn't safe anyway to let you go wandering around the school. “Yes. You won’t have to leave my side.”
You threw yourself in her arms. “Oh, thank you, Headmistress. Thank you! I like the tattoo but I won’t mind deleting it if that’s what you want!”
Farah stayed rigidly in your hug for a moment, then slowly, carefully, she brought her arms around you. She allowed you to stay for a moment there, her eyes closing when she recognized your familiar scent; then she pulled you away.
“Good. That’s good” she said, clearing her voice. “Listen, why don’t you go freshen up? There are some spare clothes in my bathroom. Let’s put you in a more decent outfit.”
“Whatever you wish, Headmistress” you answered merrily, and you run to the door she was pointing at.
Farah went to her desk, shaken, and took some deep breaths before picking up her phone and selecting one of her two most called contacts.
“Ben? I need you to come to my office and bring all the ointments you can think of that could break a magical emblem. Nothing that corrodes skin, though. No, I am fine. No, it’s not for me and- yes, and it’s a tattoo. Very powerful, yes. I don’t know, I haven’t tried- well, Rosalind did it, and my powers and hers are evenly matched, so it's possible I can’t deal with it without some help, unless I figure out exactly how she did it. And I don't have time for that. Yes, I said Rosalind.”
She heard a noise behind her and she turned her head.
You had just come out of the bathroom, your hair now loose and only one of her shirt covering you. You ran to her and hugged her, your nose brushing against her neck as your head settled on her shoulders, your hands around her waist.
“And, Ben? Come quickly.”