𝐒 𝐀 𝐕 𝐀 𝐍 𝐍 𝐀 𝐇
"Sawyer! Bring that butt here so I can beat it!"
That's what I wake up to this morning. You know movies from my childhood always made getting up in the mornings look so graceful. They lied though. My head starts pounding as I sit up in my bed. How can you have a hangover from a virgin daiquiri? The door to my bedroom swings open revealing Sage.
"Mommy you have got to get in here!" She still has a baby tone to her voice. It sounds bad but when she's distraught it sounds so funny to me.
"What's going on sweetheart?" I rub my eyes, looking to my clock. 7:30am. I should've been up ages ago. I hear a bang and a thump followed by a few more screams.
Sage's eyes widen as she looks back to me. "Saoirse and Sawyer are fighting again."
"Why?" I jump out of bed, grabbing her hand.
She leads me towards the kitchen. "He ate the last Pop-tart."
My eyes widen as I examine my very messy kitchen. Saoirse's chest rises and falls. Her eyes meet mine. "About time you woke up!" Her Irish accent has never been so strong. "You know I tried to be nice and let ya sleep in. But never again will that happen."
"Saoirse what the heck happened to my kitchen?" It looks like they had a full blown pillow war in there.
"That little demon spawn of yours ate my last brown sugar pop tart. And you know how much I adore them suckers. And he ate it right in front of my very eyes with a smirk and everything." Her nostrils are flared and her eyes look as if they're going to pop out of her head. "And I'm going to beat that little sucker. Where ever he is." She heads towards the living room and starts tearing that room apart as well.
I steady my breathing and try not to lose it. I squat down so Sage and I are on the same level. "Sage, do you know where your brother is?"
She leans towards my ear. "He's behind the couch."
I nod as I watch Saoirse search the ottoman. "Is he ready for school?" She nods in response. "I'll leave him there then. Have you eaten?"
"I helped him eat the pop-tart but she doesn't have to know that." She winks at me.
I run my fingers through her icy blonde locks and kiss her forehead. "Yep. You are definitely my child." I stand up straight and head back to my room to get ready.
***
"Alright. Let's settle this like adults." I put the car in park and look between Saoirse and Sawyer. "Sawyer, what you did was not nice. You should've asked if you could have Saoirse's snacks. We don't steal because that is not nice." I look to my best friend. "Now Saoirse. We cannot threaten or joke about beating the children. Because if we do then they could tell someone who would think that your an abuser. And last thing we need is CPS getting called on us."
"What's CPS?" Sawyer asks.
"It's an anagram. It means Cool Party Supplies." Saoirse winks at me as if she's clever.
But these are my kids so obviously the follow up question was. "Why would someone call them?" Sawyer gasps. "Are you going to hit me with a piñata stick?"
I violently shake my head. "No honey!"
"Well I mean-"
"Shut it, Saoirse!" I hiss at her. Then look back to the kids. "We'll talk later. Have fun at school." I unlock my car and an officer helps them into the building. The ride is silent until Saoirse starts laughing. "What now?"
"They think we're going to beat them with sticks!" She laughs loudly. She pulls herself together. "Now. Let's talk about last night." She folds her hands over her knee.
"There isn't much to talk about." I lie. There was a lot but I don't think it's worth bringing up. "I made some new friends, met my instructor," I hesitate before continuing. "-I saw Rooster, and I played pool."
I keep my eyes focused on the road but I can sense Saoirse's smirk from a mile away. "Rooster? As in Bradley Bradshaw." I nod keeping a straight face. "How's he doing?"
"Uh good I suppose. We talked some last night. He bought me a drink and then I was on my way." I pat my wheel to the music in the background.
"He bought you a drink?" She hits my shoulder. "Boy if that don't scream "I'm trying to get with you." I don't know what does."
"It's not like that." I shake my thoughts out of my head. They're saying something totally different. "We've been frenemies for years. We worked together before. Remember?"
She chews at the acrylic on her pinky nail. "Isn't this the same Bradley that watched the twins come out of your vagi-"
"I told him not to look!" I cut her off. I turn into the Top Gun detachment. "What time do you get off?"
"Wow. What a subject change." She snickers but quickly stops when she sees my unamused look. "Three o'clock."
"So could you get the twins and take them to the diner?" I pick at my cuticles, trying not to make eye contact with her.
"Oh I see. You want me to take them to see their Dad." I give her an innocent grin. She narrows her eyes at me. "Fine. But this is the last time... for this month at least."
"Thank you!" I exit the car and she slides over to the driver's seat. I turn on my heels and head towards the front doors. "I'll call you when I'm done here."
"Say hi to Rooster for me!" She yells before rolling up the window.
Right. Rooster. This should be good.
**********
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