Didn't See That Coming | The Walking Dead(1)

Part 64 (We Are The Walking Dead)

It seemed like each and every blanket of hope they had was ripped out from beneath them, and they were left standing on the cold road. Destined to a life, buried in a never-ending tunnel of grief and loss with no escape hatch.

The world was empty for CJ these days. Being alive just meant breathing and moving. She didn't have a life, she didn't feel. She felt like there was no fight left in her anymore. She knew for sure that if she was alone, she would have resorted to joining those which she was grieving a long time ago by now. The people she still had left were the only reason she had to keep pushing forwards.

She was tired. Tired of losing people.

The death and destruction she had been forced to witness since the rise of the walking dead was constantly flashing before her eyes. Their faces, their screams, their cries and their begging. This world was one of pain and there was no antidote.

Tony. Jim. Jacqui. Sophia. Dale. Lori. T-Dog. Andrea. Hershel. Mika. Lizzie. Beth.

And that's not even including the unknown amount of lives CJ had taken herself. She didn't know how many, and she didn't want to know. What she was sure of is that there would probably be more. And she didn't feel guilty for any of it. Because that's what she had to do now. Kill to save her family. To protect her own.

It got to the point where she became jealous of the people that were lost at the start. Because they didn't have to see any of it. The hurt and the pain that came with surviving this long, they missed it all.

She tried. She really tried to cling onto the hope that there was something at the end of the line for the group, but hope was a funny thing. And in very short supply.

But they couldn't give up.

God knows, it was tempting to just say 'fuck it' and accept that things weren't going to get any better, but that wasn't an option. They had to move on. Like they always did.

Noah stayed with the group after what happened in Atlanta. He was the one who suggested they head up to Richmond. It was a long journey. But it was where his family were. He said they had a settlement, a community. A small town with walls and a gate. It was a long shot, but it was either that or stay on the road with no destination and no plan.

"It was secure. It has a wall, homes, twenty people," Rick explained to some of the group. "Beth wanted to go with him. She wanted to get him there. It's a long trip but, if it works out... it's the last long trip we have to make."

"And what if it isn't around anymore?" Glenn asked tiredly.

"Then we keep going," Rick replied.

"Then we find a new place," Michonne corrected.

And so, they set off. The five-hundred-mile journey took nearly a month. All of them tired. Exhausted of traveling around. The calmness they all felt behind the security of prison fences had long since faded. There was nothing to separate them from the dangers and the death anymore.

Maggie was inconsolable. Crying for her sister was all she did, and no one could blame her. She'd lost everything after being so close to getting it back.

Daryl wasn't any better. He cut off everybody. He didn't speak, didn't look up when people talked to him. Whenever they took a break from their journey, he would go off alone and only come back when they were leaving again. After losing Beth, the person who taught him to have faith at a time when there was nothing to be faithful for, he lost all sense of himself. Like he'd gone back to being the emotionless, clod man he once was before meeting this group.

CJ knew to leave him be, but she knew what he was doing. He was denying himself from feeling the pain they were all experiencing. Refusing to let himself grieve. And the worst part was that she couldn't help him. The best thing for him, the thing she knew he needed, was to be left alone to do what he needed to do. And that broke her heart. Seeing the emptiness and the hopelessness in his eyes killed her.