Didn't See That Coming | The Walking Dead(1)

Part 98 (For Old Time's Sake)

It's common knowledge that when you've suffered many losses, lived through traumatic times and still come out at the bottom, your mind will block those feelings of grief or pain with thoughts that will distract you enough to forget about the trauma. Though unhealthy and often dangerous, it is a coping mechanism everyone possesses. And the odds are at one point in your life or another, you will be driven to do something you would never imagine yourself doing. No matter the consequences or the guilt you know you'll feel afterward.

Sometimes, you don't even know what you're doing until it's too late. Sometimes, you feel like you're outside your own body, watching yourself do something and being powerless to stop yourself. Maybe you snap and say something you didn't mean. Maybe you run away with no real plan as to where you're going, and you get lost. It's only when it's too late when you go back into your own mind and scare yourself with what you've done.

CJ Jefferson's mind was clouded with grief, anger, and pain. She gave zero fucks about being the bigger person. Having the upper hand and walking away was just a thing parents told their kids when their classmates were mean to them or they had argued with a friend. It wasn't for people these days. The 'moral high ground ' was not a thing anymore. Not on this day anyway. Not to her.

May the Devil show her enemy mercy when he gets to hell, because she sure as shit wouldn't.

With the pedal to the floor the entire time, CJ made it to Alexandria in less than an hour. She hadn't slowed down until she reached the open gates of her community, seeing a few walkers had wondered in and were now roaming around the dying fires of the houses and structures that were destroyed in the bombing.

There was white smoke coming from the places where flames had burnt out, leaving black and brittles structures left behind. The bench under the shelter by the lake where she knew Carl used to sit had completely collapsed and was nothing more than a few burnt planks of wood on the ground now. For a moment, she thought she could see him sitting up there, waving and smiling at her as she drove by. She couldn't bear to look and turned her attention to the road she was following around the town.

She drove the car through the town to park outside of her own home, which was surprisingly still standing strong, untouched by the fires. As she pulled over and climbed out of the vehicle, feeling her body be weighed down by her heavy heart, she caught the attention of a few nearby walkers.

She was completely unfazed as she ran at the four corpses and used her knives to put them down. Blood splattered onto her front and a little on her pale face as she drove the blade through the rotten skulls and let the bodies flop to the ground. She dragged the corpses one by one off of the road and onto the dry grass, piling them up out of the way.

Seeing Alexandria this way was devastating. The town she once saw as beautiful and homely would for a long time be scarred by the events of the Savior war. This was where her family lived and thrived. This was where some of her best memories were made. It was where she and Daryl stopped hiding from each other and admitted the love they felt for one another. Right there in the house she was staring up at.

That house had been her home for just a few months, and yet as she stood there alone, she barely recognised it. Even though it was the same it always had been, free of the flames that had encased most other buildings and died out, it looked different somehow. More bleak, sad, empty. Her own house would forever be missing one presence, and she had to stop herself from going up to her son's bedroom and crying again. His letter was burning a hole in her pocket, but she wasn't ready to read it yet.

She had a job to do.

She took her bow and arrows out of the back of the car, as well as her bag. She headed around to the trucks they had planned on driving to the Hilltop in before the bombing and grabbed what she needed: a sniper rifle, a few smoke bombs and extra ammo for her handgun just in case the plan went south.