Letters From Society's Creation

Letter Five

Hello my friend.

Sorry I haven't written to you in a week or so. I was so busy at school with tests and then last week was February vacation. I actually had somewhat of a good vacation. Were you on break as well? I hope you had fun! I spent most of my vacation with friends. I saw the movie Warm Bodies the other day. It was great. I loved it. Zombies are pretty damn awesome if you ask me.

I didn't cry too much this week either. I only cried after an incident with one of my friends, who had now left me, and after my mothers birthday surprise. I guess I'm not so shocked about my friend leaving me. I knew it was bound to happen sometime. You get used to it, I guess. Sometimes it's just the initial shock of it that stings the most.

I cried after my mothers birthday because I spent so much time trying to make sure she had a great night. I told her to go to her friends house and come back later for dinner. While she was at her friends house I ran around getting her a present and buying food supplies. I made her a nice dinner (in my opinion) and a very delicious birthday cake. But as always I was wrong and didn't please her.

She came home totally bombed, falling all over the place. She stumbled around and grabbed her food and sat down. She said my dinner was good but I shouldn't have made so much or used the sauce I had. Then when I gave her the birthday cake, it was apparently too sweet and sugary so she didn't eat it. After that she went to bed.

I'm just so tired of not getting any appreciation for anything that I do no matter what it may be. All I do is get treated like dirt, like I'm nothing. And to be honest, I'm getting so sick and tired, you can't even imagine. I fell asleep crying that night. I turned on an old movie and slept in my living room, since my mom was past out in my bed. At least I could cry and sleep in peace and quiet.

I've had a few thoughts of self harm this week but I stayed strong for you, my friend! I didn't do it. I just distracted myself instead by listening to music. Hm... I wonder, what is your favorite band? I love music more than anything. It's like when I listen to music, I'm in another world where all my problems don't exist. Where I can just forget about everything and relax and listen to the meaning of the song. Music is probably the most important thing in my life, besides me trying to stay alive...

Anyway my dear, how are you? I hope you're alright. If not just always know I'm here to listen. I'll never leave you as long as I shall live and I'll listen to ANYTHING you have to say. I'm a pretty good listener, if I must say.

But for right now, I must bid you adieu. I have to finish my homework before my mother comes home or else all hell will break loose. I'll be back tomorrow though, I promise.