S.O.S VOL. II [On Hold]

prologue

PRESENT DAY.

A chocolate bar, a lighter, a bottle of water and one empty gas tank.

I throw a hundred rand note that I found in my cup holder on the counter and i watch as the cashier grabs the items, scans them before she reaches for the note, she slides it off the counter ,she presses a few buttons on the cashing machine and it dings as it slides open.

"And a box of cigarettes please."

I say before I stuff my hands inside my sweat shirt and I stare back at her.

The way she's looking at me, it's almost as if, I am burdening her but I also can't miss the obvious sighs of a person made miserable by their job, but I honestly could not careless about this woman and her job that she hates.

She reaches for a packet of cigarettes behind her before she scans it and she puts it inside of a plastic bag and she hands it to me together with my change.

I grab everything and I make my way back to my car that's Parked on one of the petrol pumps.

I'm one hour into my road trip and i still have yet another hour to drive to get to where I am going.

The patrol attended pours the petrol into the empty container, once he's done he hands it to me in a questionable gaze.

If I was him I would be suspicious too, I mean everything I'm doing is suspicious right now, I don't blame him.

I grab the container from out of his hands and I put it in the back of my car and I start to drive out again.

The place is mountainous, very curvy and it's way too dark for me to see a few meters ahead of me. This should motivate me to turn back but I just keep on driving.

I'll sleep in my car and drive back when the sun rises, atleast it won't be as hard driving back or I'll just wait the darkness out.

Exactly an hour later I'm in the compound.

I hadn't been here in months and today is probably the last day that I'll ever be here.

The place is discreet and built in the middle of a heavy forest, nobody would be able to find it unless their really determined to look for it, and even if they would find it, nothing would be left of this place once i leave here and I know now, that nothing can stay hidden for long

Just like this compound and the secrets it bares. And today I'm here to end it all.

I park the car out front and I grab my cigarette and lighter and I lean against my bonnet while I continue to stare at the house.

I don't smoke, and I've never had any desire to smoke, up until right now. But i needed something to get the edge off.

I've exhausted all my viable options for intoxication, and besides my problems right now are probably way to big for alcohol to handle and I look even worse than them.

I kick my high heals off and I tie my dress my dress in knocks to my sides before I grab the can full of gas and I pour all around it although it's too big for me to wrap around but I pour enough just so it catches fire.

I don't know why I am doing this in this first place. And I also don't know when I became comfortable with making such irrational decisions. But this, this "irrational" decision making, is me protecting the men I love the only rational way I know how right now, the same men who might have probably destroyed each other if i wasn't in their way, so this is me keeping the peace, all in the name of love.

I throw the can back in my boot and I take the cigarette, place it in my mouth before I pull out my lighter from my sweater pocket and I place it at the end of the cigarette.

I rest my thumb on the spark wheeler and i start to apply light pressure causing the wheeler to release a few sparks into the ignition before I press down on the ignition making a flame and I bring it closer to the end of my cigarette.

I watch as it burns the end and the tobacco smokes a little before I take an inhale and it fill my lungs immediately.

It tastes spicy, woody and very much herbal, and the rich herbaceous undertone courses through me, instantly giving me a slight relaxation.

I'll probably be cursing at myself one day when I'm seventy years old with weaked lungs for this exact moment.

But I need this, and while I'm at it I have some thinking that I need to do.

I lean back against my car and I take another drag and I blow out the smoke before I lower my arm and I tint the burnt ashes on the ground before I go back to dragging.

When I get back I'm going to act like nothing happened.

I'm going to act like I didn't just cause what might probably become a war or what might probably be the end of it all.

I'm taking matters into my own hands and sending a message, I know now what I am here for, I know why I came to do this.

I light the lighter again and I watch the ignited flame for a few moments before I throw into the gas trail.

In no time everything is up in flames.

I watch as the flame consumes every bit of what used to be this house of torment.
Beneath that roof was a shield of dark and dirty secrets.

The beams catch fire and the roof starts falling into it, I can hear a few things exploding inside of it, non of which shake me.

Once I'm sure that everything has caught fire I throw the cigarette on the floor and I step on it before I get back in my car and I start driving back into the city.

Three hours later and a few minutes before sunrise I'm parked at basement level parking descending up the lift to the pent house.

The house is quiet and a little dark, I can see the blue sky and some pink morning clouds in the horizon, a few headlights lining up the free way filled with drivers already making their commute to work or wherever their going.

As for me, I don't even know if I'll have a job by the end of this month.
My life is complicated and after tonight its about to get a lot more complicated, hell has broke loose.

I take a quick shower before I find one of the T shirts that he wore last night, it still smells a lot like him, gun powder and lavender, I love it, I always have and I probably always will, I know I always will.

I pull open the duvet and I sneak into bed and I cuddle beneath his arms just as the sun rises and the rays pierce past his window and into the room, giving it a beautiful illiminance.

He wraps his thick and well muscled arms tighter around me pulling me closer into him and I grab him tighter too as my cold cheek collides with his warms chest.

"I thought you'd never come back."

He soflty says to me, eyes closed, with a raspy morning voice and a sleepy tone.

"I couldn't stay away for long."

I answer, closing my eyes as well as i feel his body get even more relaxed and so does mine.

"Sleep, we'll talk in the morning."

He says before he soflty runs his fingers into my hair and he pulls my head closer to his thick lips, placing a peck on my forehead before he doses of again.

When I wake up, chaos will have erupted and this will probably be the only decent sleep that we will both ever have for a very long time and I'd like to remember this moment, exactly the way it is, the calm before the storm...