tears of rain (sam kiszka)

my way. soon.

I woke up in my warm bed with my mom leaning over and kissing my forehead. My eyes fluttered open and I looked at her. "Hi honey," she said quietly. "Hey mom," I said stretching my arms up. "You were gone all night," she stated, pushing my hair out of my face. "Yeah," I yawned. "I was at Sam's," I said. Her face lit up. "Sammy?! I always liked him," she gushed. I gave a tired smile, and shut my eyes for a quick second. "Was it nice to catch up?" she asked. I shrugged and threw the sheets off my chest. "It was weird," I said. My mom smiled and started to pick at her nail beds. She did that when she got nervous.

"Listen, honey," She said, sitting on my bed. I sat up straight. My mom was wearing all black. "Today's the funeral," she said. My eyebrows furrowed and she started to damage control. "I didn't know if you wanted to come so I figured I'd ask you the day of. It's at the big cemetery by the high school," she said. I rubbed my eyes. "Of course I want to go, Mom. What kind of question is that?" I asked, grumpily. I didn't really want to go, I was just mad she didn't tell me. She stared at me then shook her head. "I'm sorry I didn't think you wanted to be there," she snipped.

My mom didn't deserve the way I was talking to her, and I knew that. She only wanted whats best for me.

"It starts in an hour," she said, coldly leaving the room.

I sigh, and stretch my legs out of bed. I rubbed my eyes until I saw spots and looked around for my phone. It was hidden under my plush comforter. I checked my messages.

Sam: Why did you leave last night?
Sam: I thought we were okay now.
Sam: Astrid please talk to me.

I swiftly send a response.

Astrid: Sorry, I was a little overwhelmed last night, and wanted to go home. I just woke up.

What time is it anyways?

I glanced at the clock on the left side of my screen.

10:43 am

I clicked my phone shut, and quickly got ready for the funeral.

I flicked a few coats of mascara on, and fluffed up my eyebrows with some gel in the bathroom then quickly walked back to my room.

I looked through my closet of old clothes from high school, since I didn't come with funeral clothes.

A short, long sleeved, black turtle neck, dress from some event from school hung in the back of my closet. I hoped to God it still fit.

I stripped off Sam's t-shirt revealing my bare chest. I slipped the dress on, and thankfully it fit over my boobs, and my hips. It was just a bit short. I then dug through my luggage, and found a pair of black tights I packed. I slipped them on quickly.

"15 minutes Astrid!" my mom yelled from the living room. "I'm ready!" I yelled back, slipping my boots on, and grabbing my canvas bag.

I felt- Apathetic, towards this situation. I think I'm supposed to feel much more than nothing at all.

My mom and I trailed out of the house. "Where's your car, Astrid?" She asked.

"It broke down at the rink,"

She furrowed her eyebrows at me. "How did you get home?" she asked.

"Sammy's brother took me,"

My mom rolled her eyes. "Which one? Was it that nasty boy who bullied you?" she spat. "Josh?" I asked. "He's a lot nicer now," I defended, walking to the passenger side of the car. She rolled her eyes. I could tell she was stressed today.

"Where's your coat," she pressed, opening the driver's door. I opened the passenger door. "It's not that cold out," she shook her head, and started the car. "You're going to get sick," she grumbled.