One Question, Why...?

part 9 (last part)

For the first time in a day I gather the courage to woke up from my bed. I found myself sinking in that dark ocean again. But this time....I don't want to die suffocating in here. I have fought years to overcome the depression of me having a deadly disease, so this should be nothing for me. I can handle this.

I woke up and look myself in the mirror. Dried tears all over my face and pale skin disgust me so I washed my faced.

My doorbell rang and I immediately ran towards the door but never opened it. No one came to this apartment ever and no one will willing to except one person- hoseok and my doubt was right.

"Hey Y\N!" He called when I didn't replied to his knock. "Are you home? You didn't came to school today... Are you okay?"

I am not even sad but his concerned voice made my few tears flow down to my chin. "I am fine.'' I said not opening the door.

"It's relief." He said letting the air out from his mouth. He knock on the door twice after the silence and I heard his footsteps fade away. I opened the door slowly just to found food in my way. He brought me dinner. Did he know that I was sinking.....? He don't even asked any questions. And how did he know my apartment? I didn't expect him to react like this but it's relief that he is not curious.

The next day, I decided to leave my room because this is not what I imajined myself. I am not a weak person to die in this room. I should be happy, even If a live for a day.

I decide to break the closeness between us. I didn't talk to him nor replied anything to his questions. We were in different classes so it's easier to ignore him all day. It's sad but it's the right thing. I don't want him to suffer after I leave.

After few days....he himself started to distance him from me. Maybe he understood that I don't want this friendship anymore. To be honest....I was sad. I was afraid! It's sad to see him going far from me.

And after a month, he totally disappeared from my vision.

We both returned to our normal life. But this time with lots of good memories and sadness. My first love....I will always remember you.

...

"It's sad to see your grades. Half of the class failed in this semister. Is this how I teached you all? Some made progress and was promoted to class D. And look at you."

The teacher kept blaberring but no one cared to listen. My grades were pretty much bad but do i care?

"Huh?" He tilted his head a little with frowns all over his face.

"Someone from class-A got failed in all the subjects....is this by mistake or-"

"No! It's not." A familiar voice cutted him in between. My eyes met with his and the same innocence sparkled in his eyes.

"Are you sure hoseok? There must be an error in result, let me check." He said and went out and hoseok came straight towards me grabbing an empty seat beside me. My heart skipped a beat when he smiled at me.

"Anneyong Y\N. Its been a long." He waved his hand after settling down to his seat. Hope, he didn't failed voluntarily because of me. No! He can't. He is serious about his studies. After all he want to become a doctor.

I shrugged the thoughts and continued my rest classes. After a month, i didn't expect him to follow me again when going home. But this time, he didn't hide infact he wanted me to know that I am not alone on the road. He followed me to the bookstore and sat on the same table as me. I was afraid to start a conversation with him so I let him be. "Are you the one who leave those notes in the book." He shockingly asked. I noded in confusion.