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04. I'm fine. Really.

CW: Domestic Violence

***

Elle

I look up to stare right into those eyes that are way too green for their own good. For a few seconds, everything is fine. But then my emotions get the best of me.

Did he really have the audacity to just walk out of my life, and now that he's back, he thinks he can act as if nothing ever happened?

"Yeah, I guess I am smoking now." I hiss.

What kind of stupid question was that? Things change. I changed. And if you don't see someone for such a long time, it should be expected that some things are different. I am not the same girl I was when he left. And I don't understand how he can just walk up to me and think that he can act like everything is the same as it was.

I mean does he just not care? Or was he just trying to act like nothing happened? Like we could just somehow be friends again, or maybe he wants to act as if we never knew each other in the first place?

But we did. And right now I really don't know what to say to him. Because this is crap.

"You know Harry? If you don't see or hear from someone for over two years a lot of things change."

An uneasy feeling spreads through my body, making me feel bad as soon as I said it, but he was the one who just up and left me. He just fucked off and acted as though we never knew each other.

"Elle..."

"No Harry, you're really just turning up here, after 2,5 years and pretend like you don't even know me in front of everyone?" I remark, trying to hold back my anger, but my emotions seem to get the best of me. "You know that really fucking hurts. It also hurts to think that someone is your friend, and then suddenly that person doesn't read your messages anymore. Suddenly, that person just completely cuts you off."

I take a deep breath trying to steady my voice as it turns quiet. "For years I've heard nothing, Harry. I mean, am I not even worth a single message? What if you hadn't met me at Beachwood's? You wouldn't have known I was here, but the question is would you have cared? I mean obviously, you didn't exactly try to contact me. If I really meant that little to you, you know the least you could've done was tell me. You were my friend Harry... Or at least I thought that back then, so I guess I was wrong all along."

Slowly I look up to see his face. The hurt I notice in his eyes, almost convinces me that maybe it wasn't his fault. But as he stays quiet a huff escapes my lips. In quick steps I walk towards the door, wanting to get the hell out of this situation.

"Elle wait!" I instantly stop in my tracks at the sound of his uneasy voice.

I know I should leave. But I just had to hear what he was trying to tell me. Slowly I turn around, trying to maintain low expectations as to what could have happened.

"You have every right to be angry with me. I know I got some stuff to explain and I'm hoping you'll give me a chance to do that. I'm not saying that you have to forgive me. If you just let me explain to you, that's all I want. And if after that, you don't want anything to do with me, then that's your decision and I'll leave you alone."

He breathes in calmly, his feet slowly closing the gap between us. "But if there's even a tiny chance that I can be a part of your life again... I won't give that up and it will be very hard to get rid of me. I can't even tell you how sorry I am. And you don't know how glad I was when I ran into you at the café..." As I look into his eyes I find myself wanting to believe the sincerity I see in them.