You are Home // H.S

13. Deception

CW: Domestic Violence

***

Elle

The brightness of the rising sun, shining through our bedroom window, pulls me out of my deep slumber. The sky outside looks like it has been painted in a soft orange tone, tinting the whole room in dim light. I feel my boyfriend's hand softly streaking up and down my back, caressing me and making me feel comfortable and at ease. Things are good.
Until they're not.

The haziness that clouds my brain in the morning seems to be gone quicker than usual, replaced by aching pain, that felt like someone is kicking my head over and over again. My stomach turns, feeling like I have to throw up. Ben Is still laying behind me his hands gliding up and down my back, only now, I can hear what he seems to mutter on repeat.

"Please wake up, Elle. Please be okay-" His voice is almost non-audible, getting overshadowed by various sounds that leave his mouth. It sounds like he is crying, gasping for air in between his words.

I don't dare to move a muscle, not wanting him to notice that I am awake. The constant headache is barely tolerable, but I need to push through this and try to get my head clear. My heart starts to beat faster, as I try to recall the last thing I could remember from last night.

I was at Harry's. It got late. Ben had called me a few times. I took an Uber home. I arrived home and walked up the stairs to our apartment. And then – blank.

Anxiety, creeps up inside of me, taking over all my motor functions, a few tears now starting to roll down my cheek.

What is happening? Why can't I remember?

I take a quiet but deep breath, closing my eyes to give this another chance before I allow myself to start panicking.

I was at Harry's. It got late. Ben had called me a few times. I took an Uber home. I arrived home and walked up the stairs to our apartment. There was a conversation -

I squeeze my eyes harder trying to remember more. The different pieces of information I can recall are still blurry but start to play on repeat in my head.

"Where the hell were you, Elle? It's fucking late. You should have been home hours ago!"

"You're not seeing him anymore do you hear me!"

"Y-you're scaring me."

My breathing is fast and shallow, as I open my eyes, realising I am not able to remember more of what must have happened. The few sentences I could recall were doing nothing for me and just confuse me more. My hand reaches up to my head in a quick motion, as the pain kicks in even harder, making me feel sick. It was the first time I notice the warm, gooey stuff sticking to my hair and fingers.

I let out a sob, pulling Ben's attention on me, as he immediately sits up, repeating my name, but it was just a noise in the back of my mind, as it turns cloudy again and I allow the panic to take over.

Please just let this be a bad dream, I could wake up from. Why can't I remember anything? There must be an explanation... Please let there be an explanation.

"Honey... Elle- Elle!" Ben was leaning over me trying to get my attention, but my face stays blank, not twitching a muscle, my brain too confused to get out any words at all.

"Elle- Please talk to me! Please! You had a terrible accident- Y-You fell down the stairs. I tried to hold on, but- but you were drunk, and I couldn't catch you- Honey, please! Just say s-something- anything-" he sobs out, but I can't seem to follow what he said.