Should've been me || Katara x OC

twenty-seven || Ba Sing Se

          After half a day of travelling by train, and then cart, we finally made it to the house we'll stay in. We spent the afternoon sitting around the house, with free food, we sleep early. 

           The next morning, Katara decided we should have a girls day, and I decided some one on one time would do them good. Aang and Sokka set out to explore. I stayed behind, determined to finish reading. 

          I opened the book to my last page, and a few hours later, I was turning the last one. I tabbed the most important pages, flipping back to the first, how to meditate into the spirit world. This method was taken from airbenders, the most spiritual of the four. I spend the next twenty minutes sitting. And breathing. When nothing happens, I grow impatient, and pull my other book out my bag; Zuko's diary.

          I haven't read much since I saw him, and I only feel fresh pain in my body when I think of him. I spent a lot of time wondering if he really did write this for me, or maybe if it was for Mae, or even for mom. I brush through the pages, until it lands on an unread passage.

          I've been mapping stars recently. I track the positioning, visibility and direction of each constellation. I've particularly been looking at the North Star, the brightest of them all. It's become a beacon for me. When I look up, I search for it. Some days, I get so angry I can barely think. When I feel like this, I feel so overcome with rage I cannot control myself. Most of the time, I find myself more frustrated with my predicaments than the challenge before me. I often write to you when I feel like this, it calms me down. You're my North Star.

          I don't realise I'm crying until I feel the tears on my cheeks. I rub them away, smearing them across my cheeks. 

---

          The next morning, I head out with a stack of missing posters in my hands. And I return to the house in an hour, the first to finish.

           I sit around for about twenty minutes before the others start to pile back in, and then we have nothing else to do but wait.

          Sokka, Katara and I are playing a card game when the doorbell goes. Aang is up in seconds, moments after talking about his impatience. 

           'Oh... hey Joo Dee,' Aang says.

           She takes three steps inside. 'Hello Aang and Katara and Sokka and Arya and Toph.'

          Sokka is in front of her in a flash. 'What happened to you? Did the Dai Li throw you in jail?' he asks. Having spent the day away yesterday, I'm lost.

          'What? Jail? Of course not. The Dai Li are the protectors of our cultural heritage. I simply took a short vacation to Lake Laogai, out in the country. It was quite relaxing.'

          'But then they replaced you with some other woman who also said her name was Joo Dee.' Katara says. 

           'What? No, I am Joo Dee.' 

          I'm not leaving them for a whole day ever again.

          'Why are you here?' I ask.

          'Dropping fliers and putting up posters isn't permitted within the city. Not without proper clearance.' She says, missing poster in hand.

          'We can't wait around to get permission for everything!' Sokka cries.

          'You are absolutely forbidden by the rules of the city to continue putting up posters.' Joo Dee says calmly.