Old Money || Shawmila [Completed]

14. On the right path

The stillness and silence inside her parent's house were almost frightening, even more so if compared to Camila's loud thoughts that were crowding her head. She looked around her and noticed the thick layer of dust collecting on the shelves, the single plate resting unwashed in the sink and the faint smell of stale air. She imagined her mother sitting alone at the table, eating a kraft dinner, exhausted from the turmoil of emotions their family had to face during that last period.

An unusual sparkle of compassion warmed her heart, paired with a deep sense of sadness and helplessness. As well as guilt. Because, even if Camila knew she wasn't to blame for her own father's sickness, she couldn't hide from herself the knowledge that, in that moment, he wasn't the most urgent thought inside her head.

All she could worry about was the previous night at Shawn's. If she focused hard enough, she could still smell his intoxicating cologne. The closeness of his lips on her skin made her craving him as it hadn't happened in along time. Every single fiber of her body longed for him, and yet she couldn't ignore the small, whispering voice that advised her to not give in to temptation. Camila was so frustrated!

She collected her hair in a ponytail, rolled up her sleeves, and took a deep breath. Maybe, dusting that place out could somehow calm her restless mind. Her mother was still taking care of her father and Camila thought she could use a little help, at least as far as chores were concerned. She cleaned her mother's house until that place was spotless, channeling all of her energies into that task in order to empty her mind. But at the end she found out it had been pointless. There were still too many questions hunting her, and each one of them started with a "What if...?".

What if she gave in? What if she kissed him? What if she let him take off all of her clothes?

What if that had been her only chance left to win him back?

What if she had screw everything up?

At least she knew she had done one thing right: she protected her own heart. She was in love with Shawn as deeply as the day he had screamed at her face, back when they were in California. The previous night she had felt that magical sparkle, so familiar, that they used to share when they were together. She could sense the tension in his body and the lust perspiring from his pores, as much as her own desire which was pulling her to him. And yet, that small, almost insignificant voice whispering in the back of her head had convinced her to put a stop to whatever was happening.

And surprisingly, Shawn stayed true to his words. He moved his hand from her thigh back to his lap and he put a little space between their bodies. He didn't look disappointed, actually Camila wasn't able to decipher any kind of emotion on his face. His features stayed hard and stoic, as if he was a marble statue.

Was it pathetic that Camila felt the need to explain herself? Maybe, but in that moment the awkward silence growing between them was too overwhelming and she needed to fill it. «I'm sorry... It's not that I don't want it... it's just - »

«No, I get it, Camila».

«No, you don't. Look, Shawn, I'm extremely vulnerable right now and I know that I wouldn't be able to keep things easy and light between us. You want no string attached, and I see why you'd prefer that, but my heart is a little to raw to take that».

In order to calm those flashes from the previous night, Camila decided to cook something for her mother and herself. The fridge wasn't particularly stocked, but she managed to find all she needed to make a warm soup. She wasn't the best cook, but she figured there was a lower chance to burn their dinner if it was something liquid. She stimmed some vegetables inside the pot, careful to add some cream and cheese, just to give it a little more taste. When she heard her mother's key jangling outside the door, she had just placed two steaming bowls on the table.

Beatriz looked as tired as one could imagine, but for the first time in years she was touched to see what her daughter had done for her. Camila stared at her timidly, a small smile on her lips, unsure to witness her mother's reaction. For the most part, she was ready to see her mother snapping at her or making a nasty comment about the dinner, but she was surprised when Beatriz sat at the table, tasted the soup, and thanked Camila.

A great sense of peace overwhelmed her, finally feeling like a weight had been lifted from her chest. This was a little step towards the right direction, and she was positive that things were finally starting to change for the better.

As if the universe wanted to hint at her that she was on the right path, her phone lit up with a message from Shawn: Wanna meet up tomorrow? 

I know it's been some time and this isn't the most exciting chapter one could write, but I was a little rusty... I intend on continuing this story, so the next updates should be better. Crossing my fingers for some comments!