𝔅𝔞𝔟𝔶, 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 || 𝔨. 𝔥𝔞𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔱

.02.

Spending half of my day cleaning was the worst thing for me. The only good thing about it is that I can listen to my music.

Noah is sleeping. Any other person would instantly wake up from what I hear but no, not my brother. I like listening to Queen, Led Zeppelin. Rock or Metal in general. The only thing able to wake him up would be a major earthquake. In other words, he was someone that had a very deep sleep. I, on the other hand, wake up from every little noise. I haven't had a deep sleep since I was a child because my parents used to fight a lot.

Mostly it was about me. That I shouldn't have happened. As a small child who is maybe just nine years old, you don't want to hear that you are unwanted. I still remember running to Noah and crying myself to sleep next to him. I hated it. I hated my parents, especially Dad, for it.

I don't know when but after a while Noah walked into the living room with a woman in his arms while I sat on the couch, skipping through the channels of our tv. I was bored and it was only four in the afternoon.

"You're still alive? I really didn't think so.", I was greeted warmly by my older brother, as always.

It didn't bother me as we always joked about each other like that. It was just our way of communicating with each other. Most people didn't understand it or thought it was funny how we treated each other. But that didn't matter to Noah and especially to me.

"You won't get rid of me that easily. Who is this? Started a relationship again or just for one night?", I knew I wasn't being fair towards the woman, but I said it anyway.

The woman looked worried at my brother while he just shrugged. I knew he was in a relationship with her. I just hadn't seen her before. When the two were there I was mostly in my room, minding my own business. Then I wouldn't have to subject myself to their affection.

I'm happy for Noah that he found a love interest but that doesn't really help me with my crisis.

"Ashley this is my sister Olivia. You know each other theoretically. You guys just never met.", he introduced us to each other and friendly as I was, I got up and walked to her.

A small smile crept onto my lips when I saw her. She reminded me a bit of my best friend at the time, Max. She was the best friend I could have had in elementary school and high school. Unfortunately, she and her parents moved to New York. Getting from New York to San Francisco takes a bit.

"What's up. The thing I said a few minutes ago was just for fun. He's not the type for a one-night stand.", I said to her.

Her features relaxed again when she heard that, which also relaxed me a little.

Ashley and Noah were gone faster than I could blink and so I was alone again. I liked being alone. Then you could think about many things that you don't think about.

For example, the problems in my family. Dad was an alcoholic and also struggled with drugs at times. Every time he got dead drunk, Noah and I hid in the attic. We knew that even under alcohol and other substances, he wouldn't go to the attic. It was the perfect place to hide. It even went so far that Noah and I put mattresses down so that we could sleep on the attic if necessary.

Mom was a very loving person but she always preferred Noah. She never really believed in me. Often she just forgot about me as if I didn't exist. Whenever she noticed me, she always had a disgusted look on her face.

As I said before, it robbed me of my confidence to see that even my family was repelled by me. So you could say that I really didn't have the best childhood.

Slowly but surely it was evening and so that I wouldn't be late I started getting ready at seven.

Unlike Stacy, who's bound to show up with a ton of makeup on, I wasn't wearing makeup. My lashes were black and long even without mascara. I felt comfortable in my own skin.

After a long shower, which I clearly enjoyed, I stood in front of my closet in my underwear. I didn't know if I should wear pants or a dress. I was more comfortable in pants but I felt like turning someone's head so a dress would be a better option.

"Stacy will definitely kill me if I stand in front of her in my pants again.", I mumbled to myself and that was it.

I would wear a dress, even if I wasn't a fan of dresses.

After what felt like hours of searching, I finally had one that I really liked. It was a black body-hugging dress that Stacy had given me once. I haven't worn it even once since then. The good thing about the dress was that I could wear my black high heels with it.

Fully dressed and ready to finally party again, I grabbed my leather jacket and my bag.

"Once again to the homeland of alcohol, sweat and hookers.", I said to myself and closed the door behind me.

I locked the door. Hopefully Noah had his key with him because who knows what's going to happen that night. With a good dose of joy and excitement, I made my way to the bar.