𝔅𝔞𝔟𝔶, 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 || 𝔨. 𝔥𝔞𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔱

.23.

I've searched the whole hotel and haven't found Kirk yet. Even the inner courtyard was empty, even though the boys had raved about the place. So since he couldn't be found, I kept looking outside.

There was a park a few blocks away. I noticed that on our trip here. Maybe he sat down on a bench there.

So in a shirt, shorts and my sneakers I walked across the street to get to the said park. He wasn't too big, but he wasn't really that small either. You could say he was the right size. A light wind gave me goosebumps, but I didn't let that stop me from finding Kirk.

How could Stacy ever do that to him? We all make mistakes and are complete assholes at times, but this was definitely going too far. I didn't know her like that. Otherwise she would have broken up with him if things didn't fit between the two. But to just betray him now? I have no idea if that was on purpose or if the guy forced her to have sex with him. Whatever it was, it hurt Kirk, and probably more than either of them realized.

I stopped at a small lake in the middle of the park. Basically, the park runs around the lake. On the bench, which was only a few meters away from me, sat a crying man with a leather jacket and white shoes. The leather jacket was more than familiar to me. I don't know if he's noticed me, but probably not. At least he's looking at the stony ground and not at my face.

I just sat down next to him and said nothing. It wasn't the right time to say anything. That wouldn't make it any better. Words of encouragement only made you feel worse.

"Why did this have to happen? Why didn't she just sayed it didn't work? Why am I so damn unlucky!", he said to himself.

I just put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him a little closer to me. I gave him emotional support. Suddenly two arms wrapped around my waist and seconds later I felt his hands on my back. He buried his head in my chest. I didn't care that my shirt got wet from his tears, it wasn't mine anyway.

I knew exactly how that felt. How it felt to be betrayed. How it feels not to be loved. You always look for the fault in yourself. That's a human thing. No matter what you do, no matter what you try, sometimes it just isn't enough for your partner. Then you blame yourself.
Some people are just too selfish to see the mistake they made. They think the world revolves around them and don't even realize how they hurt and destroy the people around them.

I never thought Stacy was that kind of person. Even though we've known each other for so long.

"I hate love.", he murmured.

Hearing him say that hurt more than any punch I've ever received. Sure, love is never fair and sometimes it can just suck, but there are good moments too. The moments that bring you joy only came about because of love. The love for parents. The love for friends. The love for partners. Everything has to do with love.

Unless you act out of pure hatred. Unless you do these things because you enjoy destroying someone else's world.

I sighed.

"When we slept together you must have noticed the scars on my arms and back.", so I started.

I didn't care if he was listening or not, but I had to talk to someone about it. Someone who didn't know me as well as James or Stacy. At some point I had to talk about it. At least that's what my therapist always said.

"It's been five years since my last relationship. I was with him for two full years. We met when I was seventeen and got together a few months later. I was so happy and thought that nothing can go wrong. I was wrong. He treated me like a maid. If something didn't suit him or I did something wrong, he hit me, kicked me, whatever. Even in the more intimate areas, everything just went the way he wanted it to. If he wanted to have sex, we had sex. If he wanted a blowjob, he got one. I didn't have the right to choose. I made the scars on my arms myself. I wanted to feel that pain. I didn't know any different. It took five years to digest everything. I went to therapy, got admitted to a psychiatric ward, I did everything I could to lead a normal life again."

I felt his face move away from my shirt. He looked at me with a startled and unbelievable look. It almost looked like he didn't want to believe what I had just said.

"That's not true.", was the only thing he got out.

I wish I would just make that up too. I also wish that none of this ever happened. I also wish it was just a fucking nightmare. But it wasn't. everything was true The pain was real.

Kirk could tell from my look that I meant everything seriously. I wasn't joking about something like that. Something like that was damn to pity and not to joke about.

"Ask James if you don't believe me. How many times he had to rescue me from this hell.", I got quieter and quieter towards the end.

It wasn't my place to draw attention to myself now. Not after Stacy cheated on Kirk. If you could call it cheating since they weren't even really together. Still, you don't do that when you're in the process of building a relationship with someone.

I cleared my throat and placed my hands on his cheeks. I gently stroked them and wiped the last tears from his face. Stacy was stupid and obviously didn't know who she was letting go. His brown eyes stared into my green ones and as if it had been planned, he placed a hand on mine. He gently pressed his head against my hand. I couldn't help but smile a little.

"Fuck Stacy. You deserve better than that bitch. There's a lot of women just waiting to find someone like you, Kirk."

"Thanks. Thanks for always being there Olivia. That asshole made a mistake."

"Then we have something in common, huh?", I said and had to smile.

A small smile crept onto his lips. My heart leapt for joy. I got up and not a second later a sneeze escaped me. It was pretty cold without a jacket. Kirk just shook his head. I know myself that it was stupid but I wanted to find him as soon as possible I didn't know that we would be sitting on a bench for another thirty minutes.

"You can sleep with me and James. He won't have a problem with that."

With these words I took his hand, entwined it with mine. I don't know if that was a bit hasty, but Kirk just let it happen. I felt my face blush slightly, or at least my cheeks.

We walked back to the hotel at a leisurely pace. There was silence between us but right now that silence says more than words could describe. We just enjoyed each other's company and no words were needed for that.

I couldn't hide it from myself anymore. I couldn't ignore it any longer. I was head over heels in love with Kirk Hammett.